Thursday, May 19, 2005

What A Mighty Bad Man???

This is to all the ladies. Okay it has been established women are into bad boys... no debate right? I'll like some ladies to share their experiences with bad boys and what it was that attracted them to these "bad boys" or what was such a turn on about these bad boys. If your views are otherwise... for instance, if you've outgrown this whole "bad boy" craze phase, then share your experience as well

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Raheem's dilemma

<>A Sugarlounge reader says,

For many guys, it is hard to tell whether that ‘special’ girl that you’re trying to get with really likes you or is just playing games with your head i.e. leading you on.

You see, some guys comment and say that women do not know what they really want and are just confused. To an extent this may be true, according most men that is.

It also goes down in the ‘book of relationships’ that men are the ones who run game on women and men don’t know how to open up their feelings. It is quite interesting to think how out-of-date that statement is. Of course it still happens but times are RAPIDLY changing and women are getting much smarter. Back in those ‘How to be a player days’ men could have like 10 different girlfriends and juggle them nicely, making each girl feel special as if they were the only one in the mans life.

Many girls have been hurt badly in the past (guys too), hence why they are so scared to commit to relationships with boys because all of them work out be the same at the end of the day so they use this as an excuse to lead boys on.

I know a friend of mine who has liked this girl for a while now and is still where he is when he first started talking to the girl. Getting with other girls is not a problem for him but this one girl is just slowing down his game seriously. By the way his name is Raheem and the dream girl Adelle. Raheem has made many attempts to show Adelle that he likes her but it’s like she keeps running ‘Hot and Cold’ on him i.e. one minute she’s all over him and the next she barely says a word to him when they see each other. Raheem has actually told her that he liked her and asked for her number but unfortunately she turned him down. Raheem later discovered that Adelle gave her number to one of his close friends. His friend knows that Raheem has had a thing for Adelle for some time now so he layed back and never really phoned her, though he was the one that asked for her number. I can’t really say that Adelle doesn’t like Raheem doesn’t like Raheem because every time they talk her body language is saying ‘I want you’ yet she takes it easy and has still NEVER really opened up to Raheem . He’s really frustrated because he doesn’t know what Adelle wants and she is not exactly trying to lead him away but leading him on instead.

Why do women play games like this? I know you’re thinking that Raheem is sad and should move on, but it’s not that easy when you are trying to talk to a girl that you really like and she’s not responding back to you. Some of the guys might be thinking that Adelle is too ‘stush’ and Raheem doesn’t have the ‘game’ to soften her up-tight attitude. Maybe Raheem will never fulfill his objective, which is to get with Adelle because he has used like a million strategies to get at her, you never know, Adelle might be a lesbian, not like Raheem in that way or as been hurt badly in the past and doesn’t want to rush into things but in time she may come around.

It all comes down to experience when trying to understand the minds of the opposite sex. There is no scientific formula that is used to get someone to like, but in cased like Raheem’s, it is not a crime to fight fire with fire and stir the person in your direction with a little thing called ‘game’.

Have you had any past experiences such as Raheem’s? And how did it go? Share your views about Raheem’s situation on the comments.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Having trouble saying "I Like You"?

The thought of telling a girl you like her and would want her to be your girlfriend seems like a daunting idea for a lot of guys… trust me… you may say Kelly’s approach is long, because it’s centered around making the girl admit to liking you first before going in for the kill.. okay the thing is I’ve been there before… you are scared of rejection… why should rejection be a bad thing, you should learn from rejection and also note that even though most of the times when girls say no, they mean NO! BUT sometimes they might be saying, “I’m not ready” or “You need to work a bit harder”! Some guys might be quick to say, “That’s easy, I’ll just drop it like its hot” yeah yeah, its easy to drop it like its hot if the girl is just any random girl and you feel she should be having it… so you just drop it… that’s why most guys aren’t going out with the girl DEEP DOWN INSIDE THEY’LL LOVE TO BE WITH… they settle for the easy “ALRIGHT” option

Okay lets get down to it… telling a woman you like her is something I don’t really encourage… if you would like a woman to know you like is, the best way is for you to make her figure it out! I.e. by you getting physically involved… doesn’t mean KISSING AND TOUCHING EACH OTHER UP… it could be simple tactile and affectionate gestures like holding hands and the Kelly “finger-talking”. And don’t you like it when a girl’s girlfriend asks her “Does he like you?” and then she smiles and says… “I don’t know, I think he does” That’s what I call magic! Look at it this way, telling her that you like her KILLS ALL THE SEXUAL AND EMOTIONAL TENSION YOU COULD EVER HAVE BETWEEN YOU!!!! It destroys the suspense and kills the crescendo!!! It kills the chemistry… imagine holding the girl and looking into her eyes, if she already knows you like her, she knows what you are thinking so she cant make up her decision whether to kiss you or not even before you try!!! But if she doesn’t know… it might catch her unawares and even if she didn’t plan on doing it she might end up doing it and if you have good kissing techniques, you might be at it for quite a while!

If you are dealing with a girl who hasn’t got “experience” when it comes to relationships and dating, then you might wanna ease up on the “game” because she might misinterpret your cockiness and comedy for “piss take” which you really don’t want…

Okay for women who “get it” and her more experienced, telling her how you feel and all that sloppy sentimental malarkey changes the rules of the situation… when you tell such a woman that “I like you”, she aint hearing “I’m feeling you” like most boys think the girl is thinking… she is thinking “Oh my days, this boy is confessing he likes me, which gives me all the power in the situation, and really for some weird reason, I don’t quite like him as I did…” This is because you’ve made yourself weak and vulnerable… have you ever being in a situation, when some girl was so much into you and you played her and then you come out telling her how much you like her and doing all the sweet things you never do… you are only giving her the power and she wont be coming back to you anytime soon!!!! The best way to tell a woman you like her is by SHOWING IT!!! Not saying it…. Do something don’t say something…. It’s been said that 80% of communication is done via out body language… so show her what your body is saying not what you are saying!!! Only use words if you actions can’t perform better… (in that case, you suck trust me!). Actions create “moments”, words kill “moments”… you know when tow people are looking into each others eyes and they aren’t saying a word to each other, but yet, they both know what each other is saying…THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT… it reminds me of when I was dancing with Marie at the party and I was saying some malarkey about how good she smells and some crap and she said “Don’t say anything” It’s because I was killing the moment with words… moments are suppose to be savoured in silence!!!! If the girl is someone you meet up with or maybe she asks you out to cinema or wherever…. I know you get the feeling… oh my days this is my chance... I have to go; I can’t let her down… LET HER DOWN!!! It only heightens the attraction…

PEOPLE WANT WHAT THEY CAN’T HAVE!!!!

Monday, May 02, 2005

Relationships, Friendships & Ethics

James and John have been best of friends for a long time. James has got girlfriend who’s Helen. John and Helen are friends. James is cheating on Helen, and he told John in confidence. John then went behind James’ back to tell Helen.

Is John in the right telling Helen about James’ infidelity?
Who is he first liable to? James his best friend or Helen, James’ girlfriend who has become John’s friend over time?
Will you shop your friend to his girlfriend/boyfriend just to protect another friend?
What role do ethics play in this situation?

Sunday, May 01, 2005

April 30, 2005

Dear Readers,

I’m sure you’ve all enjoyed peeking into Kelly’s lil’ diary. Now you’ve read his diary entries, ever wondered or thought about the bigger picture to Kelly? Sugarlounge: The Book shows the bigger picture. The diaries were summaries of Kelly’s day to day life. Sugarlounge: The Book, delivers life before and after the diaries. The book answers the following questions

Who Kelly really is
Where did it all start?
How does it all end for Kelly?
Does he find his perfect woman?
Does he get played by the woman he thought was “the one”?
Does he realised rationally play doesn’t deliver the best payoffs?
What happens to the brothers?

Sugarlounge: The book will be ready by June. You can book your free copy of Sugarlounge: The book by sending your email address to bigniyi@gmail.com. You will get regular updates about the book and the book which will be an e-book will be delivered to your inbox in a .pdf format (Adobe Acrobat file).

You ask what happens to sugarlounge: the website… It still goes on but instead of Kelly’s diaries, it will be like a forum where people can talk about relationship issues. An issue will be discussed about once/twice a week, where people can express their views, voice their opinions, ask questions and answer other people’s question…

Keep locked into Sugarlounge

Love you all!!!!

Kelly