Raheem:Brief Update

I Woke up this morning to the beautiful sounds of Amel Larrieux, the surround sound of my stereo seemed to penetrate through the air of my room @ 5am in the morning, the sky was a light pink mixed with blue and i could hear the rain outside. I could still smell the scent of the gucci rush on myself from being with 'her' yesterday. She left a presence on my body because i could still imagine her being here, with me, but i left my presence in her room, the Diesel Masculine does wonders. It was 5am, i got up to wash my face and went back to catch up on some sleep before work.

Raheem On Wednesday Morning

I put on my blazer and left work. Didnt leave till 6.30pm, damn, but i guess it's worth it when my paychek comes :-) . That's all my life has been since my exams have finished. I'm loving it though, now my summer has started early. I spoke to Grace yesterday. I decided that all the beating around the bush wasn't worth it and it was time to move on and stop being awkward everytime we spoke. I was finally able to make her feel comfortable when speaking to me. "Raheem you've changed man" thats what she said to me. I've heard this like 10 times over the past 2months, but it doesn't really phase me. Change is good, now i'm at a place where i can relax, be laid back and enjoy the ride. So me and Grace are cool now, we are just friends. Ladies would YOU ever go out with a guy who's best friends with his ex-girlfriend? Hard question for some eyy...
If you say no does that make you smart or insecure? because you could be missing out on something so special, yet there is a danger that this guy and his ex-girlfriend may still have something for eachother deep down. Just a lil something for y'all to think about.

I am at a point now where a can actually have a choice of 5different girls on my phone book that i can actually call and talk to or ask to come and see me and it wont be a thing for them. I like having my options open, its so much better when you have something to fall back on. The other day a friend of mine(female) asked me "what type of girls do you go for?" and i replied saying "i dont believe in having 'types' because it limits me and puts barriers to the places i can go and the wonderful women i can meet". Now she was shocked, i dont blame her, most guys and girls have 'types' to suit themselves, but what they dont know that these are hidden limits and barriers. Don't live in box world, be free! Life is to chaotic to try and plan out EVERYTHING and put people in a TYPE, you'd be suprised to the type of ties/relationships you can experience if you were to just take away those attributes you look for in a guy/girl it's not rocket science. That's what ive started doing recently and i will keep on doing it, ive been meeting some wonderful young women, its funny because a lot of friends are slowly starting to turn into lovers(not by choice), because they see me in a 'different' way now. Most of my friends at uni finish their exams tommorrow(thursday) and we plan to have a get together, so that should be interesting. This post is just a brief update before the big one when it all starts, stay logged on.

Brief words from Raheem

Raheem x

"Amerie": The girl in the black Mini Cooper

“What you need is whatIam
You’d ask, what makes me different from theotherman
True, I’ve got my faults that hardly makesmediffer
On the outside all I am is anotherhuman
Inside is someone longing to connect with youwoman
Hard is what I’ll keep working, till you give me yourhand
With you looking deep and hard into myeyes
Saying sweet things like Iloveyoubeingmyman
With the patience and understanding with a studentfromateacher
I promise to bring out your inherentpotential
I may come across as adreamer
But girl, you are one dream I want to get indeeper
With you I want to grow stronger, into being yourperfectman
All you have to do is say yes mydear
Cause this love can only grow harderandsweeter”

(Kelly, while driving through the streets of St. John’s Wood.. April 2006)


Kelly

Lady at the luggage bag store,

“This is about you, and the things you make me want to do
Thoughts of making you my boo isn’t what I want to adhere to
Who are you? I asked myself as the feelings grew
Withdrew, I did only to find myself back with you
Beautiful is your countenance, fresh as the morning dew
But why do you, remind me of a past love called trouble
Whose past name was hurt but disguised as trust
I ask myself, is there a must for there to be an us
Drawn I feel to you, but wrong this feels to me”

(Kelly, on a sunny Thursday afternoon… May 2006 )

When do you call it quits? Don’t know why but I just can’t help myself being drawn to her… I know it’s blatantly wrong and I shouldn’t because it’s a thing where she’s taken… but who defines “taken”? What’s taken…? are you taken because you said yes when he asked you to be his girlfriend? Or are you taken when your heart can’t feel anything for someone else. Why do I feel drawn to her? I haven’t got an answer to that… do I want to make her untaken and make her my “taken”? Definitely not… because I couldn’t live with the guilt of making someone else’s taken, my taken… I don’t even want her to be my taken because she isn’t exactly the way I like my taken… Back to square one… when do you call it quits…? When do I call it quits? Why am I in this? What is my aim…? Make her mine…? no! So why do I keep going back to her even when I know I shouldn’t… Do I even like her? It would be wrong to jump to a conclusion I like her because I feel drawn to her… Cute little things she does, like the way she answers her phone… the way her voice gets tired during the late night calls… the way she tries to hide what she feels for me, the way she slips up and lets me know how she feels… these are the very things that make it hard to walk away… am I being selfish

This is wrong… clearly wrong… when do I call it quits before she makes me hers…

Kelly