April 27, 2005
Watching The O.C. yesterday got me all sentimental… okay there’s this guy who had this girl, and then he was having problems and left her all alone without saying crap and when he came back, she was with someone else and he kept on bugging her even though she’s like leave me alone…but it was obvious she still had feeling for him… okay this other guy she was going out with had this amazing weekend all planned out when he was going to “make love to her”… but at the airport she said she couldn’t do “this” anymore… so she back to the ex-boyfriend’s house and they did the SPIDERMAN KISS!!!! Oh my days… kinda brings back some memories with Lisa… we did “the Spiderman kiss” once… the upside down one... but I wasn’t all hanging upside down… even though I was kinda upside down… it’s just one of those things I saw and said… lets try that… it good still… so I remembered that last night… At the end of the day what I learnt is… “Love” sucks!!! Trust me… even though this girl had a boyfriend, she still had feeling for her ex and to make it worse she left her current boyfriend for her ex… and then did the Spiderman kiss… should I say it doesn’t get worse than that or it doesn’t get better than that? How do you deal with the ex factor? How do you deal with the fact that even though you’ve got a girlfriend… there are guys in the past or maybe one guy in her past who she loved off but for some reason they couldn’t be together no more… and when she kisses you, that’s what she thinks about? It doesn’t add up… I don’t know if I can speak for all boys but even though I’ve been with a few special girls… I don’t think there’s one who’ll get me all fantasizing about her while I was with some new girl… its not about that… I take time out to enjoy and savour each new person I’m with… but if my girlfriend left me for her ex or some guy in her past, I will be some gutted brother…. And the funny thing is the girl’s boyfriend was like… “I understand… you can’t fight fate….” How dumb is that… I guess there is nothing he could have done… when a girl says it over, that’s the end right? What’s the point in being with someone who doesn’t wanna be with you? It can be a heart wrenching feeling when you like someone so much but the feeling is not mutual… I remember when I was on Claire’s ass… bless!... its like I couldn’t think straight… its like everything centred around Claire… like the prat in Hitch said… you know when food loses its taste and colours seem dull… and you just feel you had to have something? That’s how I felt with Claire… it got to a point where some girl I used to know then… who kinda knew my situation with Claire was like… I was like her… as in you are ready to show someone but they not ready… and that day was the day everything changed… I said to myself, I WILL NOT BE LIKE THAT GIRL!!!! And from then, everything changed… its weird how powerful determination is…
I was at Bar One today where I met up with Byron… Byron told me he’s got a girlfriend now… how weird is that? Byron’s got a girlfriend… “So who’s the lucky lady? Someone I know….?” I asked… “I probably told you about her before, but you haven’t seen her before though…” he said… seen, is that Byron… apparently she’s some girl who he was managing at the moment… I knew Byron was dodgy with those girls he’s managing… obviously if he spotted some talent; he’d pick her up before anyone else… “So what’s her name?” I asked as I downed the rest of my orange juice… “Nikky…” he said… “this girl sings like an angel, and there’s just something about her…” he continued… okay when Byron starts talking like this… you know he’s gone crazy… the last time I heard Byron talk about a girl like this… he said the girl was so beautiful… but when I saw her, she wasn’t anything special… “I take it she’s got a big bum and not doing bad, bust wise…” I said… Byron like meat on a woman… he loved bum… he said he couldn’t work with a girl who didn’t have a bum…. Same here…. How can you work with a girl without a bum? He gave me the 411 on this Nikky girl… she was 19, was in some London university studying law and music or something crazy like that… (another girl studying law)… she had a nice bum (prominent one…) a “back off” he said… she was pretty and she sings good… she’s really outgoing… and they were getting along real good… its funny, she called just when we were speaking about her…. Byron had some smile on his face, that I aint seen for long… “Hey, what’s going on?” he said… followed by a smile… “I’m here with the one and only Mr Kels… the one I told you about…” he said… awww… that’s so sweet, he’s told her about me!!!! He then passed the phone to me, saying she wanted to speak to me… “Hi…Nikky, I must say I’ve heard a lot about you in the last 20mins… and I can’t wait to see you…. “I said… “Aww, thank you… can’t wait to see you too… Byron’s told me a lot about you…” she said… she had a sweet voice on the phone… “As Byron told you, you’ve got an amazing voice…?” I said… I could hear her laughing… “Thanks…” she said… “Okay I’ll give the phone back to Byron, so you love birds can get on with it….” I said….
“I might bring Nikky down here, probably on Sunday, if that’s cool?” Byron said…. “Yeah, that’s good… wanna see her… hope she’s worth all this hype…” I said… “Trust me she is” he reassured me… the more I thought about it, the more loosely coupled the bond between the brothers appeared… about a year ago… it was all the brothers under the roof of Bar One, every Sunday… then it became, once a month… now the last time that happened was like February… it was more of Byron and I now… and with the emergence of Byron’s new girlfriend Nikky, the more it was going to become… just Kelly in Bar One… I know my boy Byron wont punk out on me… he’s my closest of the brothers anyway… if there were any two brothers who knew each other’s business it was just us two… so it wont just be Kelly anytime soon…. I got home around 11pm… landed on my bed… turned on Jenny’s slow down zone… is it me or do they play like the same songs everyday…. It’s cool though… I hadn’t heard the song that was on currently playing for a while now… it was Heather Headley’s "I Wish I Wasn’t"
“I'm home alone again
And you're out, hangin' with your friends
So you say, somehow I know it's not quite that way
It's getting pretty late and you haven't checked on me all day
When I called you didn't answer
Now I'm feeling like you're ignoring me…
…When you touch me my heart melts
and everything you did wrong I forgive
so you play me and take advantage
of the love that I feel for you
Why you wanna hurt me so bad
I believed in you that's why I'm so mad
now I'm drowning in disappointment, and its hard for me to even look at you”
It’s funny how I got so complacent in all my past relationships… and how many women would have sang this lyrics burning of hatred for Kelly…. its like I go through thick and thin to get a girl and when she’s so much on me… and then I feel like I want my space again… its always being the case that when I was involved with someone… that’s when there are so many women out there who wanna get with me… but when I’m alone… there’s like no one… it’s really weird… it’s really about time the right one came along… its about time I found someone to share all this love with…. It wont be bad at all to have someone to come home to every night… waiting for you in some sexy lingerie on the bed… a few months ago, it wouldn’t have cross my mind to ask a girl to move in with me… but right now I wouldn’t mind a girlfriend moving in….
Is this feeling for real or is it just because, things seem rather quiet lately?
I was at Bar One today where I met up with Byron… Byron told me he’s got a girlfriend now… how weird is that? Byron’s got a girlfriend… “So who’s the lucky lady? Someone I know….?” I asked… “I probably told you about her before, but you haven’t seen her before though…” he said… seen, is that Byron… apparently she’s some girl who he was managing at the moment… I knew Byron was dodgy with those girls he’s managing… obviously if he spotted some talent; he’d pick her up before anyone else… “So what’s her name?” I asked as I downed the rest of my orange juice… “Nikky…” he said… “this girl sings like an angel, and there’s just something about her…” he continued… okay when Byron starts talking like this… you know he’s gone crazy… the last time I heard Byron talk about a girl like this… he said the girl was so beautiful… but when I saw her, she wasn’t anything special… “I take it she’s got a big bum and not doing bad, bust wise…” I said… Byron like meat on a woman… he loved bum… he said he couldn’t work with a girl who didn’t have a bum…. Same here…. How can you work with a girl without a bum? He gave me the 411 on this Nikky girl… she was 19, was in some London university studying law and music or something crazy like that… (another girl studying law)… she had a nice bum (prominent one…) a “back off” he said… she was pretty and she sings good… she’s really outgoing… and they were getting along real good… its funny, she called just when we were speaking about her…. Byron had some smile on his face, that I aint seen for long… “Hey, what’s going on?” he said… followed by a smile… “I’m here with the one and only Mr Kels… the one I told you about…” he said… awww… that’s so sweet, he’s told her about me!!!! He then passed the phone to me, saying she wanted to speak to me… “Hi…Nikky, I must say I’ve heard a lot about you in the last 20mins… and I can’t wait to see you…. “I said… “Aww, thank you… can’t wait to see you too… Byron’s told me a lot about you…” she said… she had a sweet voice on the phone… “As Byron told you, you’ve got an amazing voice…?” I said… I could hear her laughing… “Thanks…” she said… “Okay I’ll give the phone back to Byron, so you love birds can get on with it….” I said….
“I might bring Nikky down here, probably on Sunday, if that’s cool?” Byron said…. “Yeah, that’s good… wanna see her… hope she’s worth all this hype…” I said… “Trust me she is” he reassured me… the more I thought about it, the more loosely coupled the bond between the brothers appeared… about a year ago… it was all the brothers under the roof of Bar One, every Sunday… then it became, once a month… now the last time that happened was like February… it was more of Byron and I now… and with the emergence of Byron’s new girlfriend Nikky, the more it was going to become… just Kelly in Bar One… I know my boy Byron wont punk out on me… he’s my closest of the brothers anyway… if there were any two brothers who knew each other’s business it was just us two… so it wont just be Kelly anytime soon…. I got home around 11pm… landed on my bed… turned on Jenny’s slow down zone… is it me or do they play like the same songs everyday…. It’s cool though… I hadn’t heard the song that was on currently playing for a while now… it was Heather Headley’s "I Wish I Wasn’t"
“I'm home alone again
And you're out, hangin' with your friends
So you say, somehow I know it's not quite that way
It's getting pretty late and you haven't checked on me all day
When I called you didn't answer
Now I'm feeling like you're ignoring me…
…When you touch me my heart melts
and everything you did wrong I forgive
so you play me and take advantage
of the love that I feel for you
Why you wanna hurt me so bad
I believed in you that's why I'm so mad
now I'm drowning in disappointment, and its hard for me to even look at you”
It’s funny how I got so complacent in all my past relationships… and how many women would have sang this lyrics burning of hatred for Kelly…. its like I go through thick and thin to get a girl and when she’s so much on me… and then I feel like I want my space again… its always being the case that when I was involved with someone… that’s when there are so many women out there who wanna get with me… but when I’m alone… there’s like no one… it’s really weird… it’s really about time the right one came along… its about time I found someone to share all this love with…. It wont be bad at all to have someone to come home to every night… waiting for you in some sexy lingerie on the bed… a few months ago, it wouldn’t have cross my mind to ask a girl to move in with me… but right now I wouldn’t mind a girlfriend moving in….
Is this feeling for real or is it just because, things seem rather quiet lately?
posted by Olan Collardy at 12:39 am
5 Comments:
seems like Kelly is feeling really lonely, haha so how does it feel? how do you think all those girls you were running game on then felt?
Kelly, I know deep down you wanna b wiv sum1, but ur state of mind wont help, because it seems like u'd jump into anything and late find out it wasnt wat u wanted and u'd be hurting the other party. Take on an hobby or something to get your mind off this need for someone, and u'd meet sum1 special when u least expect it
its funny, because Kelly used to be like, this girl isnt good enuff, rare rare rare, now its like u've got no1 and u like u need a girlfriend, I think u need to learn to be on your own for once then you'll learn 2 treasure women when nxt you find one
i love sugarlounge, keep up the good work!
I luv the heather headley song
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