March 19, 2005
Funny how Chloe rang me to tell me, her friend has cancelled on her and she was free for Saturday night, and even though I wasn’t doing anything I told her I was busy… it’s not about the “rebound” thing, but you have to sound busy… I invited her to Byron’s drink up though… funny Amerie is gonna be there as well, and in as much as I hate to say it, Amerie is turning into some sort of girlfriend… “Unofficial” girlfriend… tomorrow should be fun… Michael and Mark are gonna be there… and Fiona obviously… yeah… Louise and Marie as well… and loads of other people….
I went to Bar One today, on my own though… I was so bored at home; I just went to the bar to feast my eyes on the “local” talent… I was kinda friends with one of the barmen, so I was having a chat with him when he was less busy… it’s funny how much you see when you just sit in a corner and observe what is going on… guys trying to talk to ladies… guys trying to be “smooth”… and the odd ones that just sit around and look at the females… and saying something like “Bloody hell, look at that….” And then go home without doing anything! Not even “put your bid” into anything!!! Whatever situation you find yourself in always try to say something!!! Even all you get to say to that girl that night is… “Alright luv?”, she’ll probably give you a fake ass smile or say “yes”… as she walks away say something about her…”like your….” Fill in the blanks… don’t say something offensive...like I like you batty or something crazy… remember the six things to compliment (hair, clothing, bag, shoes, weight or earrings)… she’d probably say “Thank you”… at the end of the day you’ve said something and she’ll probably remember the guy who said something to her… “the compliment” and when she goes to sit down, she’ll probably think about you and go…wonder why he said that… do I really look nice today… big chance next time you bump into her at the party/club (wherever), she’d be more receptive to whatever you wanna say!!! People love people who compliment them!!! ALWAYS REMEMBER…NO MATTER HOW MUCH A GIRL MAKES OUT THAT SHE DOESN’T WANT YOU STANDING NEXT TO HER TRYING TO CHIRSP HER…. GIRLS LOVE GETTING CHIRSPED!!!!!!!
Okay getting a girl’s number… MOST women will respond to you midway between neutral and positive, a normal woman who shout at you and say “GET AWAY FROM ME YOU LOSER!!!” if she says no.. She’ll let you off in an easy way… girls are overrated and are not as “vicious” as guys make them out to be. Okay getting the number...
Don’t think about it JUST DO IT!!!! The more you start to think about it, the more ideas will come into your head... all the worst possible outcomes… will flood your mind… just start walking towards her... or just SAY SUM’UM!!! When you drop one sentence, you are in it… no turning back…. It’s a strategy called “Burning your bridges”… This dates back in history… there was a Spanish conqueror named Cortez, who during a war… burnt all his ships so that his army couldn’t retreat and had to fight the battle! And because he had no option of retreat… he had to fight to win… so use this strategy… and you won’t look back!!! And if possible when you get it… leave the party or the club… just poof!!! (Disappear!!!)
Okay, here is a lil’ exercise… a mental rehearsal… think about yourself in your best gear, and you at this party and here is this buff girl, who’s just walked in and you like “bloody hell, look at that” and you’ve licked your lips whatever you need to do to make you look sexy… I remember this… my brother did this on a next level... when he was young… probably the first time he was going to chirsp a girl… poor boy must have been like 11 or 12… he wrote a quick sketch in this format
I: Hi...
She: Hi…
I: What’s your name…?
She:
Okay you get the point… a sketch dialogue… I’d laughed my butt off… but it was original though, first time I saw something like that… at least he was practicing, saves him the embarrassment of standing in front of the girl and being tongue tied…!!!
Having a little mental rehearsal makes you realize a lot of things and the more you think of something she might say to throw you off, you can think of a grand answer (NOTHING CHEESY THOUGH)… its funny how girls will ask you… “Why do you want my number? Why do you wanna get to know me?” What kinda stupid question is that… it just further shows… girls love being chirsped and fishing for compliments… here is where you game comes in… use your humour and sarcasm (good sarcasm… not one that will get you a slap!!! Or her walking away)… and don’t let anyone tell you about being yourself… its good to be yourself… BUT BE YOUR NEW AND IMPROVED SELF!!! Find your USP and refine your brand… in that sense… you still yourself but just had a face lift…
Big Note!!! Don’t talk about the future… like I really like you…or we should go out sometimes or my mom will love you!!! NO! NO! NO!... and don’t do it the first time you call her as well!!!!
MISTAKES GUYS MAKE!!!
1. Don’t apologise: “I’m sorry to disturb you…but…” JUST SHUT UP!!! I was listening to some man on the TV today, who rang a talk show and said he’s got bad luck with women… and the hostess was telling him his doing the wrong thing… like you know this guy is got some weird programming in his head… he said “When you approach a woman who’s alone… you need to apologize… show respect…” I’m like listen to yourself mate…!!!
2. Don’t reject yourself!!! Many guys reject themselves before they even say approach a lady...some are like “I know you probably don’t wanna…. I know you are busy….” FORGET THAT MENTALITY!!!
3. Common one… some guys just talk to any girl… I a pro-active fan of “Any guy can get any girl”… but if you see this girl is out of your league and you REALLY want her… then you need to up your game and move to her…!
4. Don’t act over familiar
5. Understand her mood… sometimes girls are not just in the mood… so you can be doing the right thing at the wrong time!6. Confidence!!!! Women rather talk to an ugly guy who is confident that a buff guy who gets tongue tied!!!
If you are doing any of these things… BITCH SLAP YOURSELF and do your MENTAL REHEARSAL!!!!
If you forget anything… NEVER!!! Don't forget confidence, humour and BREATH MINTS!!!!
I went to Bar One today, on my own though… I was so bored at home; I just went to the bar to feast my eyes on the “local” talent… I was kinda friends with one of the barmen, so I was having a chat with him when he was less busy… it’s funny how much you see when you just sit in a corner and observe what is going on… guys trying to talk to ladies… guys trying to be “smooth”… and the odd ones that just sit around and look at the females… and saying something like “Bloody hell, look at that….” And then go home without doing anything! Not even “put your bid” into anything!!! Whatever situation you find yourself in always try to say something!!! Even all you get to say to that girl that night is… “Alright luv?”, she’ll probably give you a fake ass smile or say “yes”… as she walks away say something about her…”like your….” Fill in the blanks… don’t say something offensive...like I like you batty or something crazy… remember the six things to compliment (hair, clothing, bag, shoes, weight or earrings)… she’d probably say “Thank you”… at the end of the day you’ve said something and she’ll probably remember the guy who said something to her… “the compliment” and when she goes to sit down, she’ll probably think about you and go…wonder why he said that… do I really look nice today… big chance next time you bump into her at the party/club (wherever), she’d be more receptive to whatever you wanna say!!! People love people who compliment them!!! ALWAYS REMEMBER…NO MATTER HOW MUCH A GIRL MAKES OUT THAT SHE DOESN’T WANT YOU STANDING NEXT TO HER TRYING TO CHIRSP HER…. GIRLS LOVE GETTING CHIRSPED!!!!!!!
Okay getting a girl’s number… MOST women will respond to you midway between neutral and positive, a normal woman who shout at you and say “GET AWAY FROM ME YOU LOSER!!!” if she says no.. She’ll let you off in an easy way… girls are overrated and are not as “vicious” as guys make them out to be. Okay getting the number...
Don’t think about it JUST DO IT!!!! The more you start to think about it, the more ideas will come into your head... all the worst possible outcomes… will flood your mind… just start walking towards her... or just SAY SUM’UM!!! When you drop one sentence, you are in it… no turning back…. It’s a strategy called “Burning your bridges”… This dates back in history… there was a Spanish conqueror named Cortez, who during a war… burnt all his ships so that his army couldn’t retreat and had to fight the battle! And because he had no option of retreat… he had to fight to win… so use this strategy… and you won’t look back!!! And if possible when you get it… leave the party or the club… just poof!!! (Disappear!!!)
Okay, here is a lil’ exercise… a mental rehearsal… think about yourself in your best gear, and you at this party and here is this buff girl, who’s just walked in and you like “bloody hell, look at that” and you’ve licked your lips whatever you need to do to make you look sexy… I remember this… my brother did this on a next level... when he was young… probably the first time he was going to chirsp a girl… poor boy must have been like 11 or 12… he wrote a quick sketch in this format
I: Hi...
She: Hi…
I: What’s your name…?
She:
Okay you get the point… a sketch dialogue… I’d laughed my butt off… but it was original though, first time I saw something like that… at least he was practicing, saves him the embarrassment of standing in front of the girl and being tongue tied…!!!
Having a little mental rehearsal makes you realize a lot of things and the more you think of something she might say to throw you off, you can think of a grand answer (NOTHING CHEESY THOUGH)… its funny how girls will ask you… “Why do you want my number? Why do you wanna get to know me?” What kinda stupid question is that… it just further shows… girls love being chirsped and fishing for compliments… here is where you game comes in… use your humour and sarcasm (good sarcasm… not one that will get you a slap!!! Or her walking away)… and don’t let anyone tell you about being yourself… its good to be yourself… BUT BE YOUR NEW AND IMPROVED SELF!!! Find your USP and refine your brand… in that sense… you still yourself but just had a face lift…
Big Note!!! Don’t talk about the future… like I really like you…or we should go out sometimes or my mom will love you!!! NO! NO! NO!... and don’t do it the first time you call her as well!!!!
MISTAKES GUYS MAKE!!!
1. Don’t apologise: “I’m sorry to disturb you…but…” JUST SHUT UP!!! I was listening to some man on the TV today, who rang a talk show and said he’s got bad luck with women… and the hostess was telling him his doing the wrong thing… like you know this guy is got some weird programming in his head… he said “When you approach a woman who’s alone… you need to apologize… show respect…” I’m like listen to yourself mate…!!!
2. Don’t reject yourself!!! Many guys reject themselves before they even say approach a lady...some are like “I know you probably don’t wanna…. I know you are busy….” FORGET THAT MENTALITY!!!
3. Common one… some guys just talk to any girl… I a pro-active fan of “Any guy can get any girl”… but if you see this girl is out of your league and you REALLY want her… then you need to up your game and move to her…!
4. Don’t act over familiar
5. Understand her mood… sometimes girls are not just in the mood… so you can be doing the right thing at the wrong time!6. Confidence!!!! Women rather talk to an ugly guy who is confident that a buff guy who gets tongue tied!!!
If you are doing any of these things… BITCH SLAP YOURSELF and do your MENTAL REHEARSAL!!!!
If you forget anything… NEVER!!! Don't forget confidence, humour and BREATH MINTS!!!!
posted by Olan Collardy at 10:21 pm
16 Comments:
hey kelly, im feeling ur site, can any1 or kelly tell me how to get manz becuz I dont seem to be getting any attention and its not like im butterz
blarrp!!! u r gully kelly
i told you kelly 2 stop giving advice to girls, now enuff girls r using ur game on me!
stop kelly!!!
ive been talkn 2 this girl, and I really like her, any ideas about a good place I could take her apart from the cinema? my budget is about £30 (i know im cheap)
GUYS MAKE SURE YOU LISTEN 2 MR KELLY, HE SEEMS 2 HAV ALL THE ANSWERS, MY KINDA MAN
Back when Babe Ruth held the record for home runs, he also held the record for strikeouts. You gotta swing at them if you want to connect.
I noticed this girl on a streetcorner once and couldn't think what else to say so I just walked up and asked her what time it was. Thirty four years later she still gives me shit about it because there was a clock on a billboard across the street.
kim, i know u wanted some help from kelly but just thought i should give u a lil tip. Stop looking!I know everyone says it but it's so true, when u stop looking,guys will start looking and that's from personal experience. Good luck kim! oh yeah and a comment for kelly -i'm hooked!
ok i hav a problem, it may sound silly but im stuck.
ive jus found out that one man ive been seein chirpsed one of my girls-not knowin she knew me.
so she did some askin round bout him, and found out he is a pure man-hoe. (trust, its the same guy)How he moves to every girl and just wants them 4 piece. (i dont care bout that too much tho cos he can chirps who he wants cos we aint togetha officially)obviously, that dont make me feel 2 good as im one of these chicks.
i aint stupid, i aint gonna link him ever again, but wat i wanna kno is wat am i supposed 2 tell him, cos ive heard hes got one big temper, and im scared cos my fried spoke 2 a girl that he beat up cos she was rude 2 him. How do i let him kno im not on it. HELP sum1 pls!!!
that's easy, tell him u dont wanna c him anymore, and if he lays his hands on you, you'll call the police! simple as ABC
NO LONG TING!
kim,
you've got a funny question, men are everywhere! so its like you see them but they dont c u... how about making yourself visible, change the way you dress and your appearance, maybe some guy will then say to you... "Raw, you are looking different" Then he'll start saying hello to u... then he'll start calling you and blam! b4 u know it u've got a man...!
its funny i know enuff girls that werent any1 b4 and all of a sudden manz checking them... it may be because they smile better now, dress better or better still their bum is getting bigger...
cant stand men that beat women, i know this choong/buff/sexy girl! oh my days this girl is SO NICE I WANNA CRY!!! I heard her man beats her, and it just got me so mad (even though I aint seen him b4)This girl is so pretty, I remembered the first time I said hello to her at a party and asked if she remembered me from a previous party, she was acting like I was speaking french... saying shit how she dont remember... and she walked away... I thought it was my game but when I heard how her man bangs her because he's a jealous prick, it came all together! when her man aint there she's got so much mouth and attitude, but when he's around, she's all quiet and scared! feel so sorry 4 her, I should sing Mario's "Let me love you" hope I wont loose a tooth while I singing to her
4real though, men need to allow that shit! its not about that, I think men who do that have tiny TINGS!!!
wot does it mean if u nd a guy are 'good friends' but he always acts different around u as opposed to o the phone, like he doesnt want people to kno u talk even though u really are no more than friends.
kelly can u tell and others plaese
to da girlw ith the problem with the guy that dats bin messin round and might hit her do exactly this. link him act like ur all on it if he takes the hint u sud be piecing in about 5 10 mins act like ur gonna give him head u no act real nasty so he gets ova haps and feels like hes won da lottery then BITE DAT SHIT like its ur mums best chicken an tell him if he trys anythin again ull hand his piece to him on a dish he'l think ur crazy and piss the hell off... or if ur not brave enuf 4dat jus stop linkin him and takin his calls if hes smart hell get the hint and if he dont then tell him ur dad found out and now ur on lock an u cant see him no mor(boys are so dum they fall for that im on lock line all the time!)
the girl who wrote the last comment..........got issues, how u gonna bite some1s dick!!!!!!!!!
duh!!! if u bite his tings... thats when you'll get banged for sure!!! thats GBH as well!!! not only will u get a black eye, you go to jail!
to raz, maybe he's ashamed of being with you in public, speak to him... i cant stress it enuff communication is the key to every friendship/relationship/or wateva it might be
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