March 14, 2005
I’d called Lorraine last night when I got home last night and she came over to my house today! Worry today was kinda mad still!!!
Lorraine was looking all nice, I’m like what!!!??? “Its nice seeing you again, Kelly” She said… as we both sat on the sofa… “Nice seeing you too” I said… I didn’t want Lorraine back but I wanted aspects of her in my “ideal” girl… “You wont believe how hard it was for me when I left the country… I thought about you everyday…” She said… all looking into my eyes… okay this is starting to freak me out… maybe I wanted some but come on you’ve got a man…. “How about your boyfriend?” I asked… “He’s cool, we started seeing each other about five months ago… and he’s so lovely…” She smiled… ok… “Nice place you’ve got here though…. You must be bringing a lot of girls home isn’t it?” She said…. Okay this is starting to get boring… I wanted to kiss her so bad... and I know its wrong…she’s got a man!!! Who was probably sitting in front of a TV thinking about her… but who cares…? This is my ex-girlfriend… in a way she was still mine…”You know ever since you left, I still haven’t found someone like you, sometimes I’ll be driving and I’ll think I just saw you walk past… its kinda mad trust me” okay maybe I was exaggerating a bit, but it was kinda true… I kinda really like Lorraine… “I felt the same way too”….she said…. FELT? I held on to her hand and fiddled with her fingers… like I said it always worked…. “I like it when you do that” She said quietly…”Kinda brings back all those memories…” She continued… “Is it…? And I wont be the only one who wanted to do this….” I said as I kissed her gently on the lips…. And stopped waiting for her to kiss me back… there was a pause of about five seconds (which is long…trust me… in this position anyway)… she then kissed me… “I really care about you Kelly and I’ll be lying if I said I don’t like you anymore…. I still do…. But I’ve got a boyfriend now, who is really nice, serious and wants to settle down with me…. And I wanna settle down with him as well…” okay this doesn’t make sense to me… she likes me but settling down with some other guy…. Okay… hmmm…kinda makes sense…NOT!!! “I’m so sorry for kissing you, I don’t even know what I’m doing… and I'm meant to have a boyfriend…” She said… “What’s wrong with me!!!???” Okay calm down…. Then the buzzer went off….
It was Amerie!!! Try not even call me to say she was coming by!!! She was dressed… like she wanted to put it on me tonight and I felt so embarrassed as Amerie saw Lorraine in the sitting room…. “Hi…” Amerie said to Lorraine, who timidly said hi back to her…. “Errmm… this is my very good friend Lorraine, who spending some time in London with HER BOYFRIEND… and this is Amerie… my err…very good friend too…” I said... it was getting really weird….!!!! Amerie felt awkward because her dazzling cleavage was out for everyone to see (obviously it was meant to be for me but…)… “I think I’ll be leaving now….” Lorraine said as she got up and got her jacket… just as I was escorting her to the car… Louise was right there…. And I felt like…”Could it get any worse?” What was I suppose to do… tell Louise to go in…when Amerie was in the room, what would Amerie think? This guy thinks he’s a player? And I couldn’t tell her not too, because Lorraine was standing right next to me and the look in her eyes wasn’t too good… it was saying “You dirty bastard…what do you think this is?”….”Louise… this is Lorraine… the one I told about….Lorraine meet Louise, my other very good friend”… They exchanged pleasantries… with the cliché Kelly’s told me so much about you from Louise…. At least I handled that good… then I walked Lorraine to the car…. “What’s that all about Kelly… how many girls have you got coming to your house… did you have a problem with your scheduling… or is this a big game to show me you’ve move on…?” She said as she shook her head…. And got in the car…. “To be honest… "I only came here to see if I still had any feelings for you… and I found out…. I still really like you Kelly, but I see you’ve moved on… Bye Kelly…” she said as she drove off, being a bit too harsh on the gas pedal….
“What was that all about? I thought she was in… where did she go again….?” Louise asked… “Doesn’t matter… now is not a good time…” I said… “What? Are you telling me to go away…?” Louise said…. “I don’t mean to disrespect you…Louise but its really not a good time….” I said… “Okay, Kelly I get it… don’t have to raise your voice… “She said as she started walking away… “I’m not raising my voice… don’t walk away from me Louise… I really want you here but its not just a good time, I’ve got stuff to think about….” I said… She stopped and turned round…. “You know what Kelly… its not all about you… do you think I’m dumb? Isn’t that Amerie’s car over there…? And you think you are smart telling me ‘its not a good time’?” She said… as she walked away…. “Damn!!!” what’s with all this women!!!! I waited outside for a bit to get a bit of fresh air… then I walked in…. and Amerie, sitting there, ever so beautiful… “Wanna grab you coat… lets get something to eat…” I said….
We got some Chinese from the local Chinese shop and parked in a quiet place to eat… don’t know what’s wrong with my CD player in the car, but its wasn’t working (great!!! Should get it fixed quick!!!)…. Then we spoke…. I told her about Lorraine and the whole incident….obviously excluding the kissing part!!!! It was nice though…
“I’m glad we can talk” Amerie said as she dropped me at my place…. And I kissed her goodbye… on the lips… damn… it was so good I can still feel her lips on mine….. I think I’m falling for this girl…. But I gotta be strong… Kelly isn’t going down like this…. Not this easy anyway….. Ever since Claire… I can now control how I feel… I like Amerie a lot… by I’ve still got control over my feelings… which wasn’t the case with Claire…. But with the way things are going, I hope I wont be loosing control anytime soon…..
Usher’s "Lovers and Friends" was the tune I heard as I switched on to the slow down zone on Choice Fm….
Lovers and Friends…. I think Amerie and I are doing good though as far as lovers and friends were concerned…..!
Lorraine was looking all nice, I’m like what!!!??? “Its nice seeing you again, Kelly” She said… as we both sat on the sofa… “Nice seeing you too” I said… I didn’t want Lorraine back but I wanted aspects of her in my “ideal” girl… “You wont believe how hard it was for me when I left the country… I thought about you everyday…” She said… all looking into my eyes… okay this is starting to freak me out… maybe I wanted some but come on you’ve got a man…. “How about your boyfriend?” I asked… “He’s cool, we started seeing each other about five months ago… and he’s so lovely…” She smiled… ok… “Nice place you’ve got here though…. You must be bringing a lot of girls home isn’t it?” She said…. Okay this is starting to get boring… I wanted to kiss her so bad... and I know its wrong…she’s got a man!!! Who was probably sitting in front of a TV thinking about her… but who cares…? This is my ex-girlfriend… in a way she was still mine…”You know ever since you left, I still haven’t found someone like you, sometimes I’ll be driving and I’ll think I just saw you walk past… its kinda mad trust me” okay maybe I was exaggerating a bit, but it was kinda true… I kinda really like Lorraine… “I felt the same way too”….she said…. FELT? I held on to her hand and fiddled with her fingers… like I said it always worked…. “I like it when you do that” She said quietly…”Kinda brings back all those memories…” She continued… “Is it…? And I wont be the only one who wanted to do this….” I said as I kissed her gently on the lips…. And stopped waiting for her to kiss me back… there was a pause of about five seconds (which is long…trust me… in this position anyway)… she then kissed me… “I really care about you Kelly and I’ll be lying if I said I don’t like you anymore…. I still do…. But I’ve got a boyfriend now, who is really nice, serious and wants to settle down with me…. And I wanna settle down with him as well…” okay this doesn’t make sense to me… she likes me but settling down with some other guy…. Okay… hmmm…kinda makes sense…NOT!!! “I’m so sorry for kissing you, I don’t even know what I’m doing… and I'm meant to have a boyfriend…” She said… “What’s wrong with me!!!???” Okay calm down…. Then the buzzer went off….
It was Amerie!!! Try not even call me to say she was coming by!!! She was dressed… like she wanted to put it on me tonight and I felt so embarrassed as Amerie saw Lorraine in the sitting room…. “Hi…” Amerie said to Lorraine, who timidly said hi back to her…. “Errmm… this is my very good friend Lorraine, who spending some time in London with HER BOYFRIEND… and this is Amerie… my err…very good friend too…” I said... it was getting really weird….!!!! Amerie felt awkward because her dazzling cleavage was out for everyone to see (obviously it was meant to be for me but…)… “I think I’ll be leaving now….” Lorraine said as she got up and got her jacket… just as I was escorting her to the car… Louise was right there…. And I felt like…”Could it get any worse?” What was I suppose to do… tell Louise to go in…when Amerie was in the room, what would Amerie think? This guy thinks he’s a player? And I couldn’t tell her not too, because Lorraine was standing right next to me and the look in her eyes wasn’t too good… it was saying “You dirty bastard…what do you think this is?”….”Louise… this is Lorraine… the one I told about….Lorraine meet Louise, my other very good friend”… They exchanged pleasantries… with the cliché Kelly’s told me so much about you from Louise…. At least I handled that good… then I walked Lorraine to the car…. “What’s that all about Kelly… how many girls have you got coming to your house… did you have a problem with your scheduling… or is this a big game to show me you’ve move on…?” She said as she shook her head…. And got in the car…. “To be honest… "I only came here to see if I still had any feelings for you… and I found out…. I still really like you Kelly, but I see you’ve moved on… Bye Kelly…” she said as she drove off, being a bit too harsh on the gas pedal….
“What was that all about? I thought she was in… where did she go again….?” Louise asked… “Doesn’t matter… now is not a good time…” I said… “What? Are you telling me to go away…?” Louise said…. “I don’t mean to disrespect you…Louise but its really not a good time….” I said… “Okay, Kelly I get it… don’t have to raise your voice… “She said as she started walking away… “I’m not raising my voice… don’t walk away from me Louise… I really want you here but its not just a good time, I’ve got stuff to think about….” I said… She stopped and turned round…. “You know what Kelly… its not all about you… do you think I’m dumb? Isn’t that Amerie’s car over there…? And you think you are smart telling me ‘its not a good time’?” She said… as she walked away…. “Damn!!!” what’s with all this women!!!! I waited outside for a bit to get a bit of fresh air… then I walked in…. and Amerie, sitting there, ever so beautiful… “Wanna grab you coat… lets get something to eat…” I said….
We got some Chinese from the local Chinese shop and parked in a quiet place to eat… don’t know what’s wrong with my CD player in the car, but its wasn’t working (great!!! Should get it fixed quick!!!)…. Then we spoke…. I told her about Lorraine and the whole incident….obviously excluding the kissing part!!!! It was nice though…
“I’m glad we can talk” Amerie said as she dropped me at my place…. And I kissed her goodbye… on the lips… damn… it was so good I can still feel her lips on mine….. I think I’m falling for this girl…. But I gotta be strong… Kelly isn’t going down like this…. Not this easy anyway….. Ever since Claire… I can now control how I feel… I like Amerie a lot… by I’ve still got control over my feelings… which wasn’t the case with Claire…. But with the way things are going, I hope I wont be loosing control anytime soon…..
Usher’s "Lovers and Friends" was the tune I heard as I switched on to the slow down zone on Choice Fm….
Lovers and Friends…. I think Amerie and I are doing good though as far as lovers and friends were concerned…..!
posted by Olan Collardy at 12:47 am
28 Comments:
seen kelly! wanna point sumfing out to u the last entry technically says lorraine cheated! yeah am i lying...... so not all cheating is bad mistakes happen, and they don't all involve tripping ova and falling on sum1s lips.....neway kelly y u flopping, lorraine girl from the past u aint felt like this bout no one before.....she severything thing u want.....LEAVE THE GAME GO AFTER LORRAINE before its to late.....
cheating is cheating and ITS BAD!, people cheat for different reasons, she's done her boyfriend wrong in the quest of exploring her feelings and to make sure she's ready to commit to this other guy. sounds innocent I know, but... thats y communication is the key to good relationships... she could have told her boyfriend about it.. i.e. by asking him if he could give her some space to "find" herself... and she could always get together with him if its him she really wants....
so if you feel the urge to cheat, break up with your partner, if it wasnt worth it... you can always get back together... in that way you havent wronged anyone!
ps. thats no excuse for breaking for 20 times in a year because you wanted to get a lil' sum'um from the girl/guy next door
i dont like the idea of breaking up with yr partner, because u want to test someo1 else, THATS WRONG, how can y be looking else where when y r in a relationship. that means that you are not satisfied so why b e in that relationship in the first place,
i think if peepzz loked @ relation-ships as marriages (there will be a lot lesss problems/ heartaches), bcoes there isnit that element "will i aint married to her/ him so technically i aint obliged to stay faithful cos i aint made no vows". but if u c yur relatioship as a marriage you would thinkk twice befor doing things wv other people
really u cant look at relationships like marriage because they are not! they are a prequel, a phase where you get to test each other's persona and you compatibility, so in most cases it tends to break down, thats y u dont just go out with just anyone because u like them and you want them to be exclusive 2 u
there is a difference b/w falling in love and walking in love... when you meet some1, you body goes all crazy like wow, i'll do anything 4 this person...all the gooey, sloppy stuff, then after a while...2yrs into the relationship, you start seeing this weaknesses and blemishes... thats when you "love" is tested... thats when you have to start walking in love... saying "even though I c all these weaknesses, I'll stay wiv you because I 'love' u".... and that second phase depends on the level on intimacy and closeness... if uve shared so much wiv some1... ur life, ur secrets, ur joys, up and downs... when something happens... you just dont up and leave... you work at it...
maybe people should spend more time building relationships b/w they actually start gng out... i.e. be good friends... without "too much piece"... which is the piece that is enuff to show that u care... not piece to quench your "horny state"
is lorriane dumb
okay.kelly i got a question, u no u wrote the 6 points bout if sum1 doesn't want to no u no more, the buggin time to leave alone thing.well theres this guy and he does one of those things and that is teh one word answere flex.he doesn't do it all teh tim caus esum times he does open up.but he does do it...but th think is i don't ring him he rings me .so wen he carries on tha way i'm finking y ring me if u got nuffin to say some time.......and i no it may have sumfing to do wit the fact his tryna keep me sweet so that wen he wants to do a lil sumfing, but i'm just liek why can't we do the whole lovers and freinds flex cause wen he opens up its cool we act liek bredrens crack joke, but wen his all one wordy i'm like WAT??..so wats that about
hmm... interesting, its good u mentioned he's the one who calls you and goes all "one wordy"... it might be of two things... the first one is, he just wants to hear your voice (prob hasnt spoken 2 u 4 a while) and wants to c wat u r saying, without him having anything in particular to say, in this case, wen he goes all "one wordy"... dont try to resurrect the conversation (its funny how at first the guy has to be the life line of the conversation and would come off the fone when he has nuffin else to say, and at some point when he feels comfortable i.e. the girl is on it, he can be the one to keep quiet and the girl has to play the life line... games men play)... wen he goes quiet, tell him you have to go... i.e. you've got something to do and will speak to him later. when he see you aint got time for all this "one word" sessions, he'll fix up or call u wen he really has something to say...
secondly, he might be phoning you to massage his ego... this nuffin better for a guy than having a girl who's literally begging him to open up to her... again dont play into his game... tell him you have something to do... and come off the phone...
the thing is guys like challenges, he's lost the "fire" he used to have when he first met you... u know how u talk 4 hours during gour first few conversations... u need to light that fire again... how??
imagine a rubber band... the guy is on one side and you are on the other... if he's pushing away from you and you are following after him... then you killing the tension in the elastic band... but if he pulls away and you pull away too (or stay wer you are)... the tension builds... and after a while he comes running back to you!!! this is how men work...!
women hav so much power, but they dont know... and that's wat men feed on... women's ignorance...
preach it kelly!!!!!!!
kelly, u dont want lorraine, u just want to know if u can still hav her-but it wont stop there. Bcos, u wanna c how far she'll let u go, and if u can get her 2 fall for u again.
I think u like amerie for all the wrong reasons. She knows how to get u goin, and thats good, but it dont seem like theres an intellectual side to her. (cue all the boys sayin-who cares, as long as she buff.
u and amerie will b together longtime, but she aint the one. the woman who will tame kelly will hav 2 hav it all, but until kelly wakes up and LOOKS for wat he wants he'll neva b happy-u cant piece different girls together or wait in hope that she'll b ur dream girl-WAKEUP!!!
this is so weird, Kelly is perceived to be this "macho player", he's only able to achieve this because he knows so many loopholes and about this game nonsense, keep the advice coming and maybe one day, you'll go out of business.
KNOWLEDGE IS KING!
hey kelly this is a first time reader and it seems like ive bin missin out! u seem 2 give good advice but unlike all these other chicks i dont love or hate you i think ur just very interesting. i have a question. i have bin talkin to this guy since bout early november now as friends coud be lovers if u catch my drift. he says im different to sum of the other girls he has talked in cos im not 'just a pretty face' (his words not mine!) he likes the intellectual side as well cos we wud speak for time. i really like the idea that he respected me in that way and he said he liked the innocent little girl side as most of the girls he normally were not virgins and to be honest quite loose Anyway a few weeks ago we got a little intimate obviously we didnt do anything 2 serious but we did enough. we werent together or anything so now i think that he might have lost the respect i once thought he had for me. he hasnt said this but its just what i think HELP SUD I HAVE DUN THAT AM I BEING PARANOID OR WOT HELP
I FORGIT 2 ADD THAT WERE NOT GETTING OR PLANNIN TO GET TOGETHER AND THAT IS MUTUAL
coments r meant to be brief.
keep your stories to yourself.
just becoz u cant hold together more than a few entences dont hate on da rest of dem let dem say wot dey want do u hear kelly complain?
thanx kelly for the advice, i'm the girl who asked bout the one word boy! yeah i gues si kinda new all that already..its not bout teh fire or nuffin most of teh time i just wanna no how his doing as a friend init, but i hear u still, and also i no wen he starts going all quiet i should just be like oh i gota go but i can't i just feel rude and plus he'll be like fine watver.like his not bothered neway i guess its a bit like u not being able to tell girls ove the fone wen your tired and u just fall asleep..right!
u know sth kelly u give me nuff jokes da way dat u think u r an expert on gurls, guys, relationships... and probably just bout everyting from da way u carry on!!!! who told u dat gurls like guys to play all these dumb games u are on? it's people like u dat encourage boyz 2 act dumb and work against demselfs - most gurls i know say dat they were on a guy until he started playing dumb games. they don't work!!! okay...admittedly ev'ry gurl likes a bit of intrigue and mystery wit der links and relationships (no one wants a boring brother), but u seem to take it to da extreme - a gurl can only stand so many calls on private number, phone calls from the guy then one word bits of dialogue and periods wen da guy's calling like woah then not at all!!!! fix up!!!! a bit of advice 2 all u guys- try 2 strike a balance between being straight wit ur links and keeping dem in enough suspense to keep dem interested in wat u're saying and wat tings could happen between u (if u know wat i mean!!!)
err... we dont know what you mean
but kelly where do you really see you relationship with Amerie going. do you feel its going to be great since shes different
hey nessa,
guys can be very funny at times with the way they carry on, one day they like you because you difficult, and when they get it, they lose interest... its more like a no win situation... guys like intellectual girls, some one u can speak on a level with and from your story it kinda portrayed u liked each other... okay you think "he's lost respect for you"... i dont know I you dropped it (the piece to him)... but rule of thumb, be in control... when you start "piecing"... set boudaries... no gropping.... keep it simple, this shows the guy u are not some cheap piece of meat...
If he hasnt said anything, then dont b paranoid, nevertheless pay attention to his body language and how he talks to you... look out for these clues
1. when he talks to you, does he look at you?, or avoids eye contact...? This is not a good sign, its done unconsciously but it means he doesnt see the same person anymore (particularly if he used to maintain eye contact)
2. he doesnt talk to you on a level no more and he's being "one wordy" (i love that phrase)
3. he doesnt say all those "you are different" talks anymore
4. He avoids you (phone calls, texts, face2face encounters)
5. His excuses are "he's busy" like he wasnt before when he used to talk to you
6. Has he's behaviour changed?
These are questions you need to ask yourself... and what you dont wanna do is get all sentimental and share you inner most feelings... it'll scare him away... if that's what he wants (you)... then let him do the talking... and if he isnt on that... dont resent him, but be a good friend to him... he'll admire you for that...
im feeling the advice kelly given today, gwan!
yo keely just locked in locked on. i am extremely impressed. by the way im the modo writer. i m impressed because you actually tok time out to find out exactly what i meant, because i knew not a lot of people would understand what i was saying unless they had a degree in english. i did not really like you (i thought you were a bit arrogant and bias), but since you did your homework , youve shown me how intellectual you are, and can actually realise why you strive for perfection. what you do, shows they kind of person you are, and that is why i said i am impressed. well done.
p.s. i meant it in the context of medieval, and not so much murder, as the dictionary described it to you, but killer (killer with intent)- the way to treated the women!
well done!!!
and no i do not have a degree in english, i just happened to hear that form my older sister (who does have a degree in english). so dont watch my spelling, bcause i am terrible at grammar
kelly further goes to show us he's a deep brother.
kelly u no u gave nesser those 6 points...wat r u saying that if u answer yes to any of those questions the guy doesn't like u anymore
BROWNSUGAR, boys are so funny u gave nessar that advice bout six points yeah, well theres this boy (we've got history)we're not together anymore watever its cool majority of the time ......... ive still got feelings for him (but i no its thing of the past so i'm moving on and dat)so its not like i wanna be wit him or nuffin.but i like being friends wit him, out of those points u gave he does 1 and 2, but then sometimes he'll be all talky talky and looking into my eyes .like if we havn't spoken in a while or watver, but then other time he goes bk to his 1 and 2. knowing that ive still got feeling for him, he plays it hot and cold and its not right cause its playing on my emotions....why do boys do that? its like sumtimes i can swear this boy doesn't want anything to do with me, othertimes it'll be the total opposite.....is he confused bout the way he feels bout me or is he just being dumb
it doesnt mean he doesnt like you anymore, but it means he's changed... i.e. watever u did has changed his perception... u should pay more attention to no. 2,4 and 5.... he might still like but maybe he's views have changed...
And to the person who asked about the boy who does 1 and 2... it might be the "elastic band" paradigm... (like u said he's all talky if u havent spoken 4 long)he may still like you or maybe he's just trying to keep you "sweet"
does she really love you, is she runnig games on you to
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