March 13, 2005
I went along with Byron to see a band he was managing. Byron manages/promotes several music bands, basically live bands and he invited me to one of his bands who was doing good at the moment and were playing at Jazz Cafe at Camden Town. The band was kinda tight still, and there was some buff girl who was singing for the band... I wouldn’t be surprised if Byron was "putting his bid in"... because he's favorite lyric was "Do you sing...?", that was his chat up line... his "ice breaker"... the whole "...you look like you can sing good... I'm managing some bands and headhunting for a lead singer" line... works sometimes but doesn’t... obviously a girl would be flattered if any guy came up to her and said she looks like she can sing good... at worst, she'll say she doesn’t, but then he's delivered his ice-breaker and can steer the conversation any way he wanted to.
Byron and I then later went to Bar One... to have a drink, apparently his band that played today was getting signed to a bigger management company... so pay day was fast approaching... I'd just sat down next to Byron with a sour apple martini, when I saw a face I recognised, sitting on a sofa with some guy... "I swear that's Lorraine" I said to Byron, who was taking off his jacket, while trying follow my view to see who I was looking at... "You sure..?" He said.... "Of course I'm sure, I'm gonna go say hello... I haven't seen her for almost a year now"... I said..."You sure that's a good idea? She's with a guy you know...” Byron said... leaning back into the sofa...
I walked over to where she was sitting... and it was LORRAINE!!! OH MY DAYS!!! "Look who we've got here" I said... opening my arms wide for an embrace... I couldn’t care less about the girl next to her... "KELLY!!! How are you?" She jumped up and gave me a hug.... I wasn’t gonna let go...not for some time... the guy was probably now feeling uncomfortable... I let go... "How come you didn’t tell me you were in town?" I asked.... "Just came in two days ago..." She said... "Oh... meet my boyfriend....." She said... as the prat on the sofa reached out for my hand... I didn’t even bother remember his name... wasn’t really listening out for it.... "Lovely lady isn’t she?" I said... as I looked at her while holding a firm grip... he had a firm grip too... which means someone was trying to be domineering in this situation... "Here, my friend Kelly..." She said.... FRIEND!!??? FRIEND???? Is that it? Your friend... didn’t our relationship count for nothing... how about... here's my ex-boyfriend... Kelly? ... I was now sitting down next to her on the sofa... "We should meet up one of these days... and catch up on ol' times... don’t you think?" I said... didn’t bother asking her about her schedule... that was giving too much space for a refusal... I was still holding on to her hand... and her boyfriend didn’t seem to like that... but he couldn’t do anything about it... ha ha... "Ermm... we only in London for a few days and we leaving on....Friday..., but yeah, we should meet up.... phone me... here's my new number..." She said... I could see our history in her eyes.... I could tell there was something in there.... and I was going to find out.... Her boyfriend was rather quite... but wasn’t disjoint from out conversation... Byron's over there you know.... "Is he?" She said... as she got up and waved to him... he'd waved back... "Anyway, I'll leave you with Mr Lover... (I didn’t remember his name)... and I'll definitely give you a call during the week...." I said... as I gave her a peck on the cheek... "Nice meeting you..." I said as I shook her boyfriend's hands... "You wouldn’t want a peck too would you?" I smiled... he smiled too... but I knew he knew what I was aiming at....
"That's her boyfriend bruv" I said to Byron... "Is it? Try forget you, you know..." he said... "She's going back this week, but I should see her before then and see what she's saying...." I said... "You don’t want her back do you?" Byron asked.... "Naa... I still wanna see what she's saying though...." I said... "She looks kinda nice still..." I continued... "Oh well.... it isn't yours no more..." Byron said... "Seen... we'll see about that..." I said... I didn’t want Lorraine back, but I cherished the moments we shared together.... I'll always remember her... and its funny because our first date was at Bar One... it was her favorite wine bar and at become mine too... funny we met again here....
I hadn’t see Louise for about a week now... so I went to see her today... at usual she was in front of the TV, under a blanket... and some old lady was there.... with Darren and Marie..... "That's my mom" She said... "This is Kelly, my friend..." She introduced me to her mom... "I wouldn’t have thought you were Louise's Mom... you still look young and fit" I said... as she laughed... of course she wasn’t, but anything to keep the old lady smiling... Okay her mom was cool until she started asking me questions, like I was asking for her blessing in marrying her daughter... "So what do you do?" She asked... I look at Louise as if to say... okay??? "I'm into marketing and branding..." I said briefly... "Hmmm... that sounds good..."... we talked for some time... until I changed the table to talk about her... I wasn’t feeling too comfortable being piled with questions.... not in front of Marie... who kept on looking at me like I was a piece of meat and her boyfriend... who kept on looking at me... like who does he think he is... and Louise... smiling as if to say... 'I'm so proud of you'... I didn’t stay too late at Louise's place, just in case her mom was getting ideas....
Okay quick lesson... to score hits with moms... you need to carry yourself properly... appear confident, charming and funny... don’t go into details... to seem like you trying to impress her about what you do or what you into... talk to her... (that's what old women love... people talking to them) and find out her interest and talk about them... she' love you for that... don’t forget the compliments too... remember the hair, weight, clothes, shoes, handbag... and don’t overdo it...because it'll come out fake!!!
Byron and I then later went to Bar One... to have a drink, apparently his band that played today was getting signed to a bigger management company... so pay day was fast approaching... I'd just sat down next to Byron with a sour apple martini, when I saw a face I recognised, sitting on a sofa with some guy... "I swear that's Lorraine" I said to Byron, who was taking off his jacket, while trying follow my view to see who I was looking at... "You sure..?" He said.... "Of course I'm sure, I'm gonna go say hello... I haven't seen her for almost a year now"... I said..."You sure that's a good idea? She's with a guy you know...” Byron said... leaning back into the sofa...
I walked over to where she was sitting... and it was LORRAINE!!! OH MY DAYS!!! "Look who we've got here" I said... opening my arms wide for an embrace... I couldn’t care less about the girl next to her... "KELLY!!! How are you?" She jumped up and gave me a hug.... I wasn’t gonna let go...not for some time... the guy was probably now feeling uncomfortable... I let go... "How come you didn’t tell me you were in town?" I asked.... "Just came in two days ago..." She said... "Oh... meet my boyfriend....." She said... as the prat on the sofa reached out for my hand... I didn’t even bother remember his name... wasn’t really listening out for it.... "Lovely lady isn’t she?" I said... as I looked at her while holding a firm grip... he had a firm grip too... which means someone was trying to be domineering in this situation... "Here, my friend Kelly..." She said.... FRIEND!!??? FRIEND???? Is that it? Your friend... didn’t our relationship count for nothing... how about... here's my ex-boyfriend... Kelly? ... I was now sitting down next to her on the sofa... "We should meet up one of these days... and catch up on ol' times... don’t you think?" I said... didn’t bother asking her about her schedule... that was giving too much space for a refusal... I was still holding on to her hand... and her boyfriend didn’t seem to like that... but he couldn’t do anything about it... ha ha... "Ermm... we only in London for a few days and we leaving on....Friday..., but yeah, we should meet up.... phone me... here's my new number..." She said... I could see our history in her eyes.... I could tell there was something in there.... and I was going to find out.... Her boyfriend was rather quite... but wasn’t disjoint from out conversation... Byron's over there you know.... "Is he?" She said... as she got up and waved to him... he'd waved back... "Anyway, I'll leave you with Mr Lover... (I didn’t remember his name)... and I'll definitely give you a call during the week...." I said... as I gave her a peck on the cheek... "Nice meeting you..." I said as I shook her boyfriend's hands... "You wouldn’t want a peck too would you?" I smiled... he smiled too... but I knew he knew what I was aiming at....
"That's her boyfriend bruv" I said to Byron... "Is it? Try forget you, you know..." he said... "She's going back this week, but I should see her before then and see what she's saying...." I said... "You don’t want her back do you?" Byron asked.... "Naa... I still wanna see what she's saying though...." I said... "She looks kinda nice still..." I continued... "Oh well.... it isn't yours no more..." Byron said... "Seen... we'll see about that..." I said... I didn’t want Lorraine back, but I cherished the moments we shared together.... I'll always remember her... and its funny because our first date was at Bar One... it was her favorite wine bar and at become mine too... funny we met again here....
I hadn’t see Louise for about a week now... so I went to see her today... at usual she was in front of the TV, under a blanket... and some old lady was there.... with Darren and Marie..... "That's my mom" She said... "This is Kelly, my friend..." She introduced me to her mom... "I wouldn’t have thought you were Louise's Mom... you still look young and fit" I said... as she laughed... of course she wasn’t, but anything to keep the old lady smiling... Okay her mom was cool until she started asking me questions, like I was asking for her blessing in marrying her daughter... "So what do you do?" She asked... I look at Louise as if to say... okay??? "I'm into marketing and branding..." I said briefly... "Hmmm... that sounds good..."... we talked for some time... until I changed the table to talk about her... I wasn’t feeling too comfortable being piled with questions.... not in front of Marie... who kept on looking at me like I was a piece of meat and her boyfriend... who kept on looking at me... like who does he think he is... and Louise... smiling as if to say... 'I'm so proud of you'... I didn’t stay too late at Louise's place, just in case her mom was getting ideas....
Okay quick lesson... to score hits with moms... you need to carry yourself properly... appear confident, charming and funny... don’t go into details... to seem like you trying to impress her about what you do or what you into... talk to her... (that's what old women love... people talking to them) and find out her interest and talk about them... she' love you for that... don’t forget the compliments too... remember the hair, weight, clothes, shoes, handbag... and don’t overdo it...because it'll come out fake!!!
posted by Olan Collardy at 4:35 pm
51 Comments:
its all good Kelly, but dont u think, things r getting a bit predictable now. There needs to be a twist in the story, that will SHOCK!
Kelly is that tips 4 girls as well, cos when i meet ur mom i donno what i have to say to her, so it'll be nice if u could drop some hints. She sounds like a woderful woman, but i just dont understand, cos they say boys tend to come out the way they are because of thier moms: so therefore im not sure! u seem like a real ladies man type thing, gooing on there, so your mom may have influenced that. So she might have high expectations for her daughter-in-law! WHAT TO DO!!!
yeah i agree this is getting boring as well as predictable.
i dont understand why every1 is luvin up Kelly. WHO IS HE!!! just n.e random boy, im sure if u REALLY get 2 know him, u'll all feel FOOLISH!!!V
Kelly, u gotta do summing wiv Amerie, Marie and get Lorriane back. now dat's wat im talking bout. Play dem girls like a dog bruv.
everyone is luving kelly because he's a good guy! you should be able to tell from kelly's "picky" nature, he has very high expectations from who he'll want to eventually settle down with, which might have a reflection of a good upbringing and of course a lovely mum
tips for women meeting moms
1. No tarty clothes (doesnt go down well)
2. Smile and show her you like her son (not just say it)
3. Show you can take care of him (motherly instincts, ask him what he wants to eat, drink and to wear a jacket b4 gng out)
4. BE DOMESTICATED!!! dont just sit in the sitting room, go to the kitchen and help out when the mom is preparing dinner and TALK TO HER!!!
5. Talk to her about her son because thats the only thing u have in common... apart from all the female things you've got on your bodies
Hope that helps
good UPBRINGING U MAKE ME LAUGH. If U were brought up rite, u wouldnt do what you do to girls, (use abuse them and chuck them away like a wrapper). U beginning to irritate me and u sound like u been taking some tips from ur bredrin Mark. Well get a life. i actually feel sorry 4 yr mum cas yr reflecting bad on her! SHAME ON U!
U CAN TELL YR PERVERTED: how can u be compare things on ur girls body to that of her mum. I suppose u check ppl's mum's as well (i quite frankly wouldnt be supprised). Kelly just full of suprises is'nt he.
i have a question, if you were cn a girl and u found out she was a jung (been around), do u hav 2 force urself 2 like her just becuz u dont wanna "hurt her" or u kick her to the curb(wer she really belongs)?
Kel's what is going on! all these peeps gunning u down bredwin!
Kel u should have exposed Maria in front of her man, but worst in front of her mum. She a dirty whore, she should go wash her pussy, she da 1's i like to target though, give me easy and fresh tings. catch some STD's bredwin, u gotta b care of dems girls like they all full of disease ,walking round like they be hot. ha (my ex was like that), then they give u a lil summfin and ya tingz start 2 hurt, den u think "she aint even worth it". MANZ BE CAREFUL OF DEM WHORES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kelly u need 2 allow ur comments, like u aint done enuff 2 all those girls out there. No girls deserves to be kicked to the curb. No1 but U. u have dirt written all over you pretentous BITCH!!!
true that, too many girls just sexing manz around like their moms didnt teach them better than that!!! keep your legs together! not all guys like girls who will sex them the first time they try!
well why wait and pretend, when u know what the boy reallly needs. U might as well give them what they want instead of prolonging things. Girls need to come out and to but subjected, thinking that whatever a guy says is true, cos it aint. THEY ALL LIKE TO LYE, all of them, u think y've found a good 1, but hes just lk the others. TYPICAL!
IM SORRY TO BE BLUNT, BUT SOME GIRLS ARE SO LOOSE!!! AS A GUY, I DONT C ANYTHING ATTRACTIVE IN A GIRL WHO GIVES IT UP TOO EASILY, LIKE THEY SAY "DIFFICULT CHICS ARE THE SWEETEST", ALL I DID WIV MY LAST GIRLFRIEND WAS KISS AND CUDDLE AND IT WAS FANTASTIC, THE BEST EVER RELATIONSHIP I EVER HAD EVEN THOUGH IT LASTED 4 JUST 8MONTHS! BUT U KNOW WAT I RESPECTED HER FOR THAT AND SHE RESPECTED ME FOR THAT TOO!!! INTIMACY IS NOT EQUAL TO SEX!!! INTIMACY IS EQUAL TO COMMUNICATION!!!
go 4 da mother Kelly, dats live. then u can crown youself King! brrrapppppppppppppppp!!!!!
T o the boy chatting about, he happy if his girl dont give it up easy, stop kidding yr self, cos u fully well know u probably lock it off with her if she didnt give u what u wanted. STOP BEING SO FAKE, AND FACE REALITY, u couldnt last that long ( i only no a minority of mans that will do that, but its not common). Wen i girl don't give u what u want u complan, wen she give u wha u want u complain. SO WHAT DO U WANT. & why do boys try it if their NOT ON IT!
THEIR AINT NO JAZZ CAFE IN CAMDEN?
dis comment page is bare jokes! i think the girl is said something about a guy not being real, needs to see a psychologist, think you've had too many failed relationships, its starting to affect ur perception of guys and to the second person saying there's no jazz cafe in camden, ders actually one, opposite the camden town odeon cinema, do u even no wat jazz cafe is? better still hav u been to camden town?
I think the person who thinks that girl had failed relationships is a FOOL!!! if y don't no anything ist best if u jusy SHUT UP! Im just voicing what many girls want to say but don't have the guts 2 say b-cas there scare of weak boys like kelly!
DAZ TRUU, THEY SEEM LIKE THEY ALL TIGHT. I THINK I KNOW WHO THEY R? lol
:)
as a lady i wud agree that there are too many loose girl out their and they are partly to blame because it shows a lack of respect or themselves. as much as girls wud hate to admit at least 80% of dem who have lost their virginity will have regretted it but to all der friends say they dont because it felf right at the time or they were in love then WOTEVA most of them arent even still together today. as much as the girls are to blame the guys must take sum responsibility too. I no der are so many chicks who feed of wot guys tell them so if u feed them the right lines it is possible to get wot u want most times. i think as well as girls learning that there bodies are their ultimate sources of prestige (respectability )boys rememba that ur causing more damage than u no or understand and believe me it really isnt worth it. i think the lounge is gettin beta rather than worse a bit more story line based rather than players handbook... i like
plus @put my bid in' is from omarions song "O" dont try take the credit 4 it
B--E dnt call my house phone again! can some1's plz tell me whayt "modo" is? reading it in the previouss writing?
THIS SITE IS JUST GETTING FUNNIER EVERT TIME I READ IT
if u'd been reading the lounge, u'd know kelly cussed Byron for using Omarion's lyrics all the time, so it wasnt actually Kelly's lingo, it was Byron's
can the "kellymodo" writer please tell us all what modo is??? we all wanna know!
sorry kelly's boyfriend!!! i have bin readin da diary since day 1 which is why i was directin dat part of da comment at byron hence agreeing wid kelly so u can breath
what r u talking about, it cost me 2 grand 2 get it, SO check urself b4 u speak
r pepople actually commenting on the diary? en
go 2 bed, u have school 2moro little girl, no interest there wotsoever darling!
who was da last comment 2 im lost
i found this on google
modo:
The fiend that urges to murder, and one of the five that possessed “Poor Tom.” (See Mahu .) (Shakespeare: King Lear, iv. 1.)
apparently its from a Shakespeare story, not sure if thats the context the kellymodo writer meant it though, we would appreciate if he/she could come forward and PLEASE tell us what modo is
hey, this Kelly, got a question for me?
LOL KELLY your site giving me joke. Messy still! x
Now that yuo ask, yes kelly i do have a ques... If you were going out woth this girl and you then found out that she was donig thi with somone else, what do you think i should do. As of now she doesnt know that i know, and i've thought of so many ways 2 get her back and exposed her. But now im thinking is it even worth it, because i actually feel 4 this one unlike the others.
no long ting! comfront her and see what she has to say... this could go pear shaped though, she could destroy ur ego by giving u 101 reasons y she cheated on u (this is bad) or she could cry (to make u feel sorry 4 her) and tell u how it was a mistake... either way, break up wiv her b4 she does... and tell her maybe u need a break and see if you really wanna b in this relationship... (doesnt look like she wants to b wiv u anyway)... but be decent about it... be the good guy... if u leave her on good terms u can always still get a lil' sum'um bcuz if u cuss her, then she wont speak 2 u anymore
is brownsugar the wise one?
kelly i hate the advice u giving manz. its not right, think about what you are saying. how can u tell him to brake up first (what if they could work it out/ she had a genuine reason). and how can you steoreotype girls like that, about be4 she would begin to cry. not all girl crys yo no.
im in 2nd yr college, and my man in 1st yr college, and most of my girls think im raw, and im using the minors (but that aint the case because we actually love each other, and i knid of did that to him, but now i no and i learnt my lesson, b-cause all i was doing was listening to my friends)
ARe you still speaking, rememberi cant tell her to lock off!
pls hjst leave US ALONE. u think we realy care
like i said, they should spend time apart to see if they really wanna be together, at the end of the day, if they still feel the same way about each other, then they can get back together... and wat is a good excuse for cheating... hmm... u fell, trip and landed ur lips on his.... or u wer trying out ur new lip gloss?
da gay with a younger man, u is a SICKO. u and JACKO need help. u don't do dem 1's. not bout yougers
hey kelly just wana ask wot do u think is the best way for way for a guy to earn a girls trust ive bin friends wid this boy for a while now and weve got past they @we like each other stage and i just really want him to be able to be real with me u no and hes a good person and i want 2 b a good friend 2 him but i dont think he feels he can completeley open up and be free with me which is why (i think) our converstations can get a bit routine like wot do i do?
he might like u which is why he finds it difficult to open up to u about stuff dats friends may talk about likes other chicks for example ... give it time soon he will prob realise u are safe (if u r of course)wot do u think kelly?
hmm... my view is, if a guy REALLY likes you, he'll open up to me TRUST me!!! normally guys are not the talking type, men keep all their emotions and feelings inside and women open up and talk all the time... men only open up, if they are sure the person they opening up to has a solution or feel secured in the conversation... talking about ur feeling is a sign of weakness in the male kingdom thats y everyone keeps stuff to themselves... have u heard of two guys (straight) chatting on the phone to each other for longer than 5 minutes???
at the end of the day, if he REALLY likes you, he'll open up, thats the most important sign to see if a guy is "legit" (as people say) or just in it 4 wateva... if he opens up to you, it shows it TRUSTS you... which is vital in any relationship!
i dont think you got my question kely im not the one who thinks he likes me i siad we were past this 'i think i like you' stage (i no he dont like me like that) wot i was asking is how do i get him to no i am past this stage too coz were good friends now but i just want him to know that he can trust me but i dont think he opens up to me and jus generally speak easy like he wud to one of nhis boys sumtimes wen we talk it can get a little weird but i really like him as a friend and wish this wouldnt happen
its a hard one, because you cant make a guy talk to you about personal stuff unless he really wants to and what you dont wanna do is jar him by being in his face all the time or nudging him to open up to you... but I'll give you this tip, what makes men tick? "bigging up their ego" isnt it? how can you big up his ego...? compliments... "oh, i like that shirt you wore, today, looks really nice on you, where did you get it..." another way is asking for his advice on this... guys like solving this... and you cant make him more helpful by asking him for advice... at this point his obliged to help you (bcuz he's ur friend)... at this point he might draw his advice from his own personal experience, which kinda gets him to open up to you... and its a snow ball effect from there...
did u do psychology kelly, cos u sound liek one
THANX KELLY WE'LL SEE WOT HAPPENS
what da ras! make sense readers!N
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