March 18, 2005

It was only a matter of time before it happened, I knew it was bound to happen but I just tried to fight it… but what’s a brother to do? Having a girl like Amerie at your place like every other day and you say you wont do nothing with her… at least I didn’t go all the way with her… but we did about almost every other thing… but it was different… it was like slow motion, I can still smell her (err… okay she still lying here next to me)… I can still feel her over me… and I can still hear the new Mario’s song “Like me real hard” as it was playing on Jenny’s Slow down zone… We’d been kissing for almost 30mins… now call that a record…. Before everything got all crazy… As I lay down there I had a quick flash through all the girls in the past…. Claire had been fantastic… you know when you could do something with someone and be yourself… when it wasn’t about performance… but fun… Lorraine was more of an intimate experience…. I never went all the way with Lorraine but I could say I’d connected with her more than I did with anyone else… Lisa… was cool… she was a bit too freaky… you wouldn’t have thought she’d be like that… she was one of those girls who were so standoffish, you cant even imagine yourself with them… but when you get them you say to yourself….. So is that it? Louise… even though she was older than I was, she wasn’t all that when it came to things like that… Amy… was sweet… even though all I did with her was, kiss her…. And all the other girls who weren’t worth mentioning… at the end of the day, “What have I gained…?” I’d been asked by Amerie the other day, how many girls I’ve kissed… the truth is it was well into double figures now… but I’d told her it wasn’t a double figure… don’t want her all thinking I was all over the place… and I wasn’t going to ask her the same… I wasn’t ready for the answer… it’ll change my outlook of her…. She’d also asked me the crazy thing I’ve ever done… this a funny one…

It was TIME AGO! I was with Mark at a bus stop… I was probably like 17 then… I was feeling like a bad boy then (that phase didn’t last for long… probably a year)… I had my Nike hat (which someone stole like two weeks after I bought it…) Nike hoody, tracksuit bottoms and trainers… (I was impressed with myself… basically your typical black breh… even though I was a bit neeky then…) some girls had walked past us and one said something like “Hey sexy…or something…” man wasn’t used to something like that… so I thought what’s wrong with this crazy ass girl? IMAGINE!!! “Do you know those girls? Do they go to your college” Mark asked… “No… I don’t know them from anywhere…” I replied perplexed…. We got on the bus and just as the bus pulled away…. We saw the girls (three of them)… screaming and waving… (I would have thought I was a pop star or something)… then one of them flashed us… I didn’t even clock… until said… “She flashed us bruv…!” he was damn excited like a lil’ school boy who’d just seen them for the first time… He got up and headed for the stairs…”Lets get off the bus and say something to them…” he said… okay my pulse was racing now… I’d never chirsped a girl or nothing and now I’ll have to be proven... it wasn’t funny (OKAY MAYBE I WAS A LATE STARTER… 17!!!)… It was late as well… around 12… and I didn’t wanna miss my last bus… but I had to get off… don’t ask me why… we got off… and Mark beckoned to the girls to come over.. and they came over from across the road… okay…my pulse was getting faster and faster… it was the one which flashed that came up to me… “You are so cute” she said… “Give me a cuddle…” She requested… I’m like okay… right in the middle of the high street… “I like cuddles….” She continued… “Can I put my hands under your jumper…”….”woow… thanks for asking…” I thought… I was thinking to myself…KELLY SAY SOMETHING!!!! Couldn’t say crap… had nothing to say… err…how about get her number… Mark had been talking to one of the other ones… next thing… the girl asked me to snog her…. I’m like okay… free snog… ey? Don’t ask me why… but I did it… “It was crap by the way… she had nicotine in her breath…” Yukkk!!! Next thing… Mark’s like…. “My bredrin said… will you go down on him”… that say fear kills your mojo and I could have sworn down… it went down faster than I could have remembered!!! Why was Mark pushing me into this!!!??? “I don’t really know you… but if I knew you better… I’d do it….” She said…. RAW!!! Is that me bruv….??? I thought… seen… okay SHE THEN ASKED ME FOR MY NUMBER!!! Come on now Kelly…it doesn’t get better than this… what did I say… I lied to her my phone doesn’t work…. Because I didn’t wanna take her number… because she came across as a jung!!!... like DUH!!! That’s the whole point!!! Anyway they went their way… I went my way… now its left to you to figure out… what the crazy part was… me snogging some random hoochie off the road… or acting so neeky I lost out on some fun….

Amerie couldn’t stop laughing… “Bless you…” She laughed… “Its all good now… you all ladies man now… you haven’t got that problem no more…” she continued… now I can look back and laugh but… it wasn’t funny then... couldn’t stop bitch slapping myself….

It’s funny how Amerie was replacing Louise… Amerie was becoming a girl I could cotch with and I liked her that way as well…