March 15, 2005
I called Louise like all day today, and she won’t answer my phone calls, what was this girl’s problem? Isn’t she meant to be my friend? Okay maybe I should have told her Amerie was in the house instead of saying “it’s not a good time” it wasn’t though, because I was still thinking about what Lorraine said… I was kinda shocked still, she still had feelings for me…. I guess that’s what I wanted to find out ever since I saw her on Sunday. Her boyfriend must be pissed, your woman still loving some next man off… it sucks but I think its ubiquitous nowadays… you cant run-away from it…. Not unless you go to some remote island to get a wifey!!!
I went to Louise’s place but she wasn’t in… Marie was in though and I swear down, that girl is crazy!!!, she asked me to wait, that Louise would soon be back…. Okay, I thought that was nice of her, trying to help… until this girl came over and sat on my laps… trust me it didn’t take long for me to rise… she was so pretty and she knew what she was doing…. “So what’s going on between you and Louise, she came in all upset yesterday…” She said…. Her eyes looked really nice…like they could read what I was thinking… (Having her there and then)… “I don’t know… she’s freaking out on nothing….” I said, trying to without information…. “She said, you were a selfish prick… and how you had no consideration for other people’s feelings…. I tried prying for more info but she said she didn’t wanna talk about it….” Marie said… “She’s just been paranoid…” I said…. She kept on looking at me…. Which I thought was quite weird…. “How’s Darren…? He’s not lurking somewhere in here is he?” I said… “Hmm… then I wont wanna do this, will I…” She said as she kissed, and caressed my hair… I was starting to love that hair thingy women do… I’m not cutting my hair anytime soon!!! “What are you doing…?” I said after kissing her back for a second or two… “I can’t be doing this with you, I swear you’ve got a man…” What was I talking about, I wanted to be doing this!!!! But it just didn’t feel right… not with Amerie, Lorraine who have been lingering in my head… and in addition, this is Louise’s place… it takes the piss!!! Like I was right… Louise walked in… “What are you doing here?” She asked… “What you wont even say hello?” I asked… “I’ll leave you two love birds alone” Marie said as she walked out of the sitting room… “I’m really tired right now and I’m not in the mood for entertaining any visitors….” She said… I felt quite stupid though, she was practically asking me to get out of her house…. These kinds of situations are weird… if you stay, you look like a fool, if you leave, you look like a fool… what was I to do…. Hmm… good idea… I went up to her and gave her a hug…. “I do care about you Louise, I know you’ve got a reason to be mad… but if I walk through that door and never came back… are you telling me you’ll be cool with that….?” I let go and walked towards the door…..”Say something…..” I hoped…. “Wait…” She said… “I felt really offended yesterday with the whole Amerie thing… and seeing Lorraine yesterday, just threw me off… I thought I was cool with us being friends… and when I saw Lorraine, she looked so beautiful and everything I wasn’t, she was… I can see why you really like her… and I just felt low… Kelly I care about you too, and I really like you… am scared to say I love you….” Okay this is getting deep… “When we did things together… you made me feel so special… you took your time which kinda made me think, I was the only one… but I know you don’t like me like that, and I’m trying to adjust to that… I can’t bear to lose you as a friend…. “ She was now sitting…. “Arrgghh…” I thought.. Why was she bringing this up… I sat next to her and gave her a hug… and kissed her forehead… “I couldn’t bear to lose you as a friend too…that’s why I came down today….” I said…. “I know… I know…” She said…. Okay.. I can’t leave now, but I want to… this was getting really weird… I stayed for about another 30 minutes… before she said she was going to bed…
Amerie came over today again and stayed over…. We had a lil’ cook up, bare jokes… we’d had so much fun… the thought of kissing her never popped into my mind… which is kinda weird… it was about 1am when my phone rang… I was half asleep… but Amerie picked it up…. And it was Lorraine… she handed me the phone with questioning look on her face… as if to say…”What is she ringing at this time for…?”
“Kelly, can you talk?” She asked… what kinda dumb question is that, you called my phone at this time of the day and asking me can I talk? “You might as well, now that you woke me up….” I said… I stood up and walked to the kitchen to talk to her… because Amerie was in the bedroom…
“I’m sorry about last night…. I kinda freaked out when I saw all those women at your place… I expect you to have moved on…. But I just couldn’t stand the fact that some other women were probably having what we used to have before… it sounds silly, but I thought I should let you know….” Lorraine said… “Apology accepted… I still do care about you too, but you’ve got your life to live, and I’ve got mind and we’ve spoken about this… we want different things in life… so it’s not going to work…” I said… I was so tired… I think I had a cold too…. “I love you Kelly” She said after a long silence which I’d been praying she’d say she was tired and was going to bed…. Why is she saying that!!!!!!! What do you expect me to say!!!!??? “I love you too??????” Sometimes I don’t know if that phrase is meant to be a question…. I didn’t wanna say it back… “You’ve got a boyfriend…Lorraine…!” I said… “You don’t feel the same do you?” Lorraine said…. “Things have changed Lorraine…. I spent enough time thinking about us after you left…remember you were the one who wanted to ‘find’ yourself…. I can’t say I love you….” I said… “But… “ I could hear sobs now… I’m not ready for these emotional moments… she was the one who suggested we broke up and now she was trying to make me feel guilty… “But what?” I asked… “Nothing… “ She said… doesn’t matter…. “Okay… I’ll leave you now….” She sobbed again… I wish I could be here for her, but I was tired and I had work the next day… and my smooth face was starting to develop some rashes… I’ve been depriving myself of sleep… sleeping at mad hours recently… “Bye, Lorraine… “ I said… as I came off the phone… why were all these women giving me all this emotional malarkey now!!!...
“That’s weird… phoning you up at this mad hour… I know you said she was your ex and all that but…” …. “I’m knackered…. Cant talk right now…” I interrupted… as I kissed her on the lips goodnight… and face the other side… I could feel her eyes on my back… I felt sorry for Amerie, who was caught up in all this…. What was a brother to do though….? Louise…. Lorraine???
I’m kinda happy things are cool with Amerie… we weren’t getting physical and I was cool with that… I thought about Lorraine’s boyfriend… his girlfriend was busy crying her heart out to some next man…. Are relationships ever fair??? And who was to blame? It wasn’t like I ran game on Lorraine… I proper liked her…. But she suggested we spend time apart…. And she travelled out of the country.. It was so hard…. I kept on thinking of the times we spent together… our first date… our last night… it was all like a dream… but the funny thing is I didn’t want her back… I admired her but I couldn’t see myself with her…
I was quite happy with the homie/lover/friend flex with Amerie….
I went to Louise’s place but she wasn’t in… Marie was in though and I swear down, that girl is crazy!!!, she asked me to wait, that Louise would soon be back…. Okay, I thought that was nice of her, trying to help… until this girl came over and sat on my laps… trust me it didn’t take long for me to rise… she was so pretty and she knew what she was doing…. “So what’s going on between you and Louise, she came in all upset yesterday…” She said…. Her eyes looked really nice…like they could read what I was thinking… (Having her there and then)… “I don’t know… she’s freaking out on nothing….” I said, trying to without information…. “She said, you were a selfish prick… and how you had no consideration for other people’s feelings…. I tried prying for more info but she said she didn’t wanna talk about it….” Marie said… “She’s just been paranoid…” I said…. She kept on looking at me…. Which I thought was quite weird…. “How’s Darren…? He’s not lurking somewhere in here is he?” I said… “Hmm… then I wont wanna do this, will I…” She said as she kissed, and caressed my hair… I was starting to love that hair thingy women do… I’m not cutting my hair anytime soon!!! “What are you doing…?” I said after kissing her back for a second or two… “I can’t be doing this with you, I swear you’ve got a man…” What was I talking about, I wanted to be doing this!!!! But it just didn’t feel right… not with Amerie, Lorraine who have been lingering in my head… and in addition, this is Louise’s place… it takes the piss!!! Like I was right… Louise walked in… “What are you doing here?” She asked… “What you wont even say hello?” I asked… “I’ll leave you two love birds alone” Marie said as she walked out of the sitting room… “I’m really tired right now and I’m not in the mood for entertaining any visitors….” She said… I felt quite stupid though, she was practically asking me to get out of her house…. These kinds of situations are weird… if you stay, you look like a fool, if you leave, you look like a fool… what was I to do…. Hmm… good idea… I went up to her and gave her a hug…. “I do care about you Louise, I know you’ve got a reason to be mad… but if I walk through that door and never came back… are you telling me you’ll be cool with that….?” I let go and walked towards the door…..”Say something…..” I hoped…. “Wait…” She said… “I felt really offended yesterday with the whole Amerie thing… and seeing Lorraine yesterday, just threw me off… I thought I was cool with us being friends… and when I saw Lorraine, she looked so beautiful and everything I wasn’t, she was… I can see why you really like her… and I just felt low… Kelly I care about you too, and I really like you… am scared to say I love you….” Okay this is getting deep… “When we did things together… you made me feel so special… you took your time which kinda made me think, I was the only one… but I know you don’t like me like that, and I’m trying to adjust to that… I can’t bear to lose you as a friend…. “ She was now sitting…. “Arrgghh…” I thought.. Why was she bringing this up… I sat next to her and gave her a hug… and kissed her forehead… “I couldn’t bear to lose you as a friend too…that’s why I came down today….” I said…. “I know… I know…” She said…. Okay.. I can’t leave now, but I want to… this was getting really weird… I stayed for about another 30 minutes… before she said she was going to bed…
Amerie came over today again and stayed over…. We had a lil’ cook up, bare jokes… we’d had so much fun… the thought of kissing her never popped into my mind… which is kinda weird… it was about 1am when my phone rang… I was half asleep… but Amerie picked it up…. And it was Lorraine… she handed me the phone with questioning look on her face… as if to say…”What is she ringing at this time for…?”
“Kelly, can you talk?” She asked… what kinda dumb question is that, you called my phone at this time of the day and asking me can I talk? “You might as well, now that you woke me up….” I said… I stood up and walked to the kitchen to talk to her… because Amerie was in the bedroom…
“I’m sorry about last night…. I kinda freaked out when I saw all those women at your place… I expect you to have moved on…. But I just couldn’t stand the fact that some other women were probably having what we used to have before… it sounds silly, but I thought I should let you know….” Lorraine said… “Apology accepted… I still do care about you too, but you’ve got your life to live, and I’ve got mind and we’ve spoken about this… we want different things in life… so it’s not going to work…” I said… I was so tired… I think I had a cold too…. “I love you Kelly” She said after a long silence which I’d been praying she’d say she was tired and was going to bed…. Why is she saying that!!!!!!! What do you expect me to say!!!!??? “I love you too??????” Sometimes I don’t know if that phrase is meant to be a question…. I didn’t wanna say it back… “You’ve got a boyfriend…Lorraine…!” I said… “You don’t feel the same do you?” Lorraine said…. “Things have changed Lorraine…. I spent enough time thinking about us after you left…remember you were the one who wanted to ‘find’ yourself…. I can’t say I love you….” I said… “But… “ I could hear sobs now… I’m not ready for these emotional moments… she was the one who suggested we broke up and now she was trying to make me feel guilty… “But what?” I asked… “Nothing… “ She said… doesn’t matter…. “Okay… I’ll leave you now….” She sobbed again… I wish I could be here for her, but I was tired and I had work the next day… and my smooth face was starting to develop some rashes… I’ve been depriving myself of sleep… sleeping at mad hours recently… “Bye, Lorraine… “ I said… as I came off the phone… why were all these women giving me all this emotional malarkey now!!!...
“That’s weird… phoning you up at this mad hour… I know you said she was your ex and all that but…” …. “I’m knackered…. Cant talk right now…” I interrupted… as I kissed her on the lips goodnight… and face the other side… I could feel her eyes on my back… I felt sorry for Amerie, who was caught up in all this…. What was a brother to do though….? Louise…. Lorraine???
I’m kinda happy things are cool with Amerie… we weren’t getting physical and I was cool with that… I thought about Lorraine’s boyfriend… his girlfriend was busy crying her heart out to some next man…. Are relationships ever fair??? And who was to blame? It wasn’t like I ran game on Lorraine… I proper liked her…. But she suggested we spend time apart…. And she travelled out of the country.. It was so hard…. I kept on thinking of the times we spent together… our first date… our last night… it was all like a dream… but the funny thing is I didn’t want her back… I admired her but I couldn’t see myself with her…
I was quite happy with the homie/lover/friend flex with Amerie….
posted by Olan Collardy at 1:09 am
13 Comments:
c wat happens wen u mess about too many girls? this should teach you a lesson
kelly, ive got beef wid u, dont u think u exposing guys will like some1 said "drive us out of business"!!!!??? think about that
this just shows how bad mind some boys can be, u eventually come out and tell them how u feel hoping they feel the same, but wat do they do? they make u out like u r some crazy person
fix up man!
what is really going on kelly. i cannot comprehend the amount of girls that r supposedly meant to b on your case. is that really realistic, lik your some sort of model, super macho man thing. come on wake up, your not hitch and you never will b. what you are is a deprived loser, who has these never ending dreams of how many girls u wishes were on your case.
Kelly cn u please give me a breif description of what you look like, cos its bugging me reading your thing everyday and not knowing what you look like, so height, weight, size, eye colour, hair texture, them 1's. pls
teach me your ways o kekky
i mean kelly
need 2 no how manz like u do it b
some girls on this site give me enuff jokes, has "Kelly" offended u so much that you have to attack him verbally, maybe this message is subtly sending messages to some people
its either of two things, one kelly's a mac daddy as in so many girls on his case or he's an incredibly good writer!
u site rocks!!!
wow Kelly u hav 1 hetic life, all i can say is good luck..coz boi u gonna need it. (ur in my prayers bruv ur in my prayers) lol its like drama every day wid u...(unless its a bunch of mumbo jumbo (hoping it aint) lol tru say its entertainig reading thou. keep it coming.
bless cheeky chick
xxx
u just dont understand that its not like that. dont u think Amerie will feel jealous as well. in my previous relationship, iwas gonig out with a man 5yrs older than me.. i didnt think the age gap mattered until her started talking down to me in front of his friends that r girls. like im some little girl his using 4 piece. at first i thought it was minor, but eventually it began to build up , and we locked it off, because when i tried to talk to him about it he didnt understand where im coming from
freaky
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