The Feelings are back

I,ve been back home for about a week now and as you probably thought, the holiday hasn't been living up to the hype that it was made out to be....Oh well. Even though i haven't seen many of the people that i wanted to see, i've seen still seen some. A couple of friends organised a dinner for us who have come back from university for the holiday, you know, like a little welcome back thing. It was great. Everyone who is everyone was there. Antwon was on a real hype, he kept saying "i'm going to find my wife there bruv". Ok, maybe he was serious, maybe he was just playing around but either way it still sounded unlike him. Antwon is one of my old school friends like Rafael, we are very close. Antwon has the whole 'bad-boy thing' going on for him, the money, fame(he's not a rapstar or anything, he's just known), and he can be sweet at times. He's fairly tall, about 5 9". Me, Antwon and his cousin went to the ball together. Deep down i wanted to take a date but, it was too short notice, and besides, i might find something special, no SOMEONE special. For the past couple of days since i've arrived back home for holiday, iv'e been getting these funny urges, i don't know, it's like i WANT to feel something...Not neccessarily a relationship but something special....Maybe i'm just feeling a bit lonely(dohh!)

I spoke to winnie the other day. I Think im starting to like her again. She has everything that i need in a woman, class, style, she carries herself well, she's beautiful, smart. She's got the R-FACTOR without a doubt but i get the idea that i could never get back with her again. Not that we were in a relationship in the first place but we had something special.I miss those days, the late night conversations on the phone, the cheeky text messages....But Winnie has moved on now, her market value has shot up so high within the space of only a couple of months and competition for me would be crazy if i was to start from scratch with her. I think this is what is making making me even more attracted to her. When i'm around her, it's like i feel her, as in her inner man( that's deep init). If i was to tell her all of this, she'd probably freak out. Wouldn't you? I think i'm just going to try my best to keep my feelings as low profile as i can, sounds immature but in this situation, it's neccessary. Even if i told her how i was starting to feel, it wouldn't make any difference, becuase of the distance when i go back off to university. What am i going to do. Why am i starting to feel all 'deep' again. That's not what Raheem is about you see it, but whenever Winnie is in the picture it's like things change. I think i have to start from scratch with her, it's the only way....I decided to see if i could make plans to see her before the new years since things will be really hectic around those times.....

I decided to send her a text message: "Hey winnie, how you doing? What are you up to this friday? Whatever it is, clear your schedule, because im taking you out..xRaheemxx"

I know your probably thinking, what kind of message is that or if it where you, you'd tell me to 'get lost', ok that's too harsh, maybe make up something to mess up my plans for being too fast with the way i asked you out, but it's not a thing, me and Winnie were on that level. We both link alike(in a way) and have a lot of things in common especially fashion.

She replied: "Sure Raheem, is that you try get swarve...very spontaneous..i like it, just call me whenever your free". As you could guess i had a fat grin on my face when i saw that text. I wanted this date to be REAL, so i didnt spend much time planning it, just did a bit of research about the 'secret venue' of the date you see it.....

Can't wait to see u Winnie...xxx