April 12, 2005

I’ve been working late at work over the past few days, leaving work at times like 9pm/10pm… after all, social life is a bit on the downside right now… I mean there’s no Louise’s place to crash at, no Amerie… maybe I need to get myself a girlfriend… that will be stable wont it? A girlfriend will suffice at times like this when you go home, to watch late night TV, and go to bed…. I couldn’t even make social calls because by the time I get home and get changed, have a meal (meal = biscuits and orange juice), and settle under my duvet, everyone’s gone to bed… and the only thing you hear on the phone is “This is the …. Voice mail service for 0…7…….” Or if you lucky you get to hear a badly recorded chart song!!!

Can’t believe I still haven’t spoken to anyone about what I found out about Michael, not even Byron…. I guess I just wanna make sure its true and there weren’t two Michaels who did exactly the same job and looked astonishingly alike…. Plus it was none of my business, the fact that he was a “brother” didn’t make it his personal affairs mine… plus Michael was touchy on issues like that… I remember Michael writing me a blimey letter asking me to stay off Fiona because he was getting paranoid, I was moving to it…. With all due respect, Fiona is nice but she isn’t my type…! Maybe when things get bad! Things were really bad though…. Its like one day, you’ve got bare girls at your disposal and the other day, you are sitting there looking at your phone and saying… “I swear that phone is meant to be ringing???”

I went to my parent’s place; got there around 11pm… my mum was worried why I was popping around at these late hours… “Nothing to worry about mom” I said as I handed her a few groceries I bought from the 24hrs Sainsbury’s… my dad was still in the sitting room watching some programme on TV… had a minor chitchat… “How’s work” kinda thing… nothing major… my younger brother was on the phone as usual… I went to the kitchen because my mum had made me something to eat… finished the food and I knew it would be bad mind to leave straight away so I went to the sitting room and cotched there for a little while before saying bye. I got home around 1am… fixed my self a glass of orange juice and just sat down on the sofa… and stared into the abyss… CHLOE!!!! Oh my days I’ve got so wrapped up in everything that’s happened lately that I’ve forgotten about Chloe… even though she rang me two days ago and I said I was going to call her back but forgot to call her!!!

“Hey sweetie” Chloe said as her sleepy voice floated through my handset… “Hi Chloe, how are you…” I said… “I’m alright, you?”… “I suppose I’m okay, I mean, I’ve been working so late nowadays its crazy, sleeping for just over four hours every night… “I said… “Is it? Babe you need to start looking after yourself and stop going to bed so late… you need your beauty sleep” She said… Chloe was so sweet, every time I speak to her I just cant help but to kick my behind and ask myself why I never asked her out back then when we were in university, she would have made the perfect wifey… it wasn’t wholly my fault because she had a boyfriend… I mean back in the days I never used to watch the fact that a girl had a boyfriend, but after a friend was at a girl’s house and her boyfriend caught him there in the act and the man had attacked him with a knife… he had cuts all over his hands while he was trying to protect himself… since then when a girl said she had a boyfriend… I always stayed away, because nowadays everyone seemed to have a gun and a knife and you never know what girl’s man has got one, and I’m not willing to find out…! We kinda caught up on each other… and came to a conclusion that we were going to meet up this weekend…. And just before she came off the phone she said… “Love you…” and that sent a chill down my spine… I mean this is like two years on from when I used to be so bang on this girl and would have done anything to hear those words from her lips… obviously I was aware that she said it in a platonic context… still… it felt so good… I had to down my orange juice… “Love you too babes” I muttered… and bwoy that felt even better…. Can’t remember when last I said that to anyone… even when I was with Lisa, I never said those words… it was always “goodnight babe” and that was it….

I was clearly not going to get involved with Chloe, I cared about her too much to get involved with her because there were no guarantees that it would work and I would never wanna hurt her feelings… guess we were going to remain good friends…