March 27, 2005
We all (the brothers) went raving today; I must say I don’t see any point in raving!!! What’s the point in going to a club and dance… wow I must say I’ve got a vast CD collection at home of which I’d like to listen to on my own or with the company of a beautiful woman… or should I say women… anyways… the women are all in the middle all dancing with themselves (what’s the point in that) and the guys all standing around… looking and thinking “Bloody hell…look at that!”… It wasn’t too bad for me because I was just sitting down… after all I went because it was Fiona’s girlfriend’s birthday and Michael had asked us to come… plus we got in for free so why not?
I was still sitting when I recognised a figure in the dance hall that I’d seen before…the short hair… (for some reason… that’s the first thing I always recognise… the hair the face then the body….) it was Anne from like three weeks ago or something… at the party where I’d meet Amerie… she was dancing so gracefully on the dance hall with her girlfriends… I wasn’t exactly going to walk up to her, because if I got up I’d look the sofa I was cotching on and it wasn’t about standing at the club! She was like 10 metres away from me and I was hoping she’d look my way and I’ll call her over… but no it wasn’t happening…. I was pissed… I brought out my phone to give her a call… DUH! NO RECEPTION!!! The club probably had some lead walls!!! And to make it worse it was a basement dance hall… this was getting annoying… I felt like dashing my phone towards her… err… maybe that’s not a brilliant idea… after about 30mins (trust me it’s a long time if all you doing is just waiting for a girl to look your way… Anne went to the bar, so I took this as my cue… “Look what we’ve got here…” I said, creeping up behind her, running my hands down her bare shoulders and arms… “Your smile is killing me luv…” I said… as she smiled… “You are a joker… how are you?” She said as she gave me a hug… “I’m cool, you?” I hadn’t spoken to her since I rang her the last time when she asked me to ring her the next day… “I didn’t even know you’d recognise me” She said… “Hmm… I think you wearing the same earring and top, that’s how I recognised you” I joked… obviously she wasn’t (it’s not obvious but she wasn’t… anything to make her smile…) “You are dumb…” She said… (The playful, “you are dumb”)… I was just about to chat her up a bit when some geezer came up behind me… “Is there any problem here…” he said in some husky voice… I looked behind me to see who was talking… he wasn’t burly, but he built… he looked around 25, even though I was taller, I know he would take me on and probably beat the shit out of me… and it wasn’t like Byron, Mark or Michael were anywhere near and even if they were, they weren’t no thugs who were “strapping” a lil’ sum’um… “No… this is my friend Kelly, Kelly meet …” Anne said… I reckon I’ve got selective memory, because I really can’t remember his name… he knew he could take me on with the look in his eyes… and for him to even say that in the first place… maybe I was dressed too “sweet”… he then hand his arms round Anne’s waist, to show that that was his property… “Did I tell you your woman is so pretty…?” I said… trying to make the atmosphere lighter… “Err… it’s not what you think, he’s my friend” Anne said… friend??? So why is he getting all aggressive and possessive for… “Err… is that good news or bad news….?” I swear I was going to get punched up any time from now… “I’m just messing with you bro…” he said as he walked away… Okay that was strange… “Don’t mind him… he’s my ex…” Anne said she watched him walk into the crowds… “I ain’t watching your ex” I said… “I know you ain’t watching him, but I’m watching him….” She said… it’s like I had something stuck in my throat… “Is it?” was all I could manage to say… “So you still like him?” I don’t talk about other men, but I had nothing to say really… my throat was dry… “Yeap…” she said… still smiling… can she stop smiling because it made her look so nice… “You still got my number yeah?” I asked… “Sure” she said… okay what’s up with these one word answers… why is she being “one wordy”? “Give me a call, when Mr Lover starts to bore you” I said… as I walked backwards…. Giving her a quick wink and turning around… okay that was weird… what is all these crease in my game… she was meant to be all receptive… its cool though…
I joined Mark, Michael and Byron later on… some girl Byron had been speaking to was going home… and Mark grabbed her by the hand… and spoke to her for like a minute and next thing he was getting her number… even though I’d asked Byron to get her number previously, he said… I shouldn’t worry about him that he will take care of himself… (don’t ask me how)… but from when I saw Mark getting the number… it was pretty game over…. And don’t ask me why Byron did what he did next… he took out his phone and pointed it to the girl and said… “And this too…” implying she should put her number on his phone… “Let him give it to you” She said before walking away… it wasn’t helping Byron as well… if you wanna get a girl’s number… don’t get it in the presence of your boys…UNLESS YOU SURE YOUR GAME IS SO TIGHT THE GIRL WON’T TRY TO DISS YOU OR SAY NO…..!!! Michael was laughing his butt off!!! So was I and Mark was trying to say it’s not like that… obviously he wasn’t going to laugh… he was trying to be diplomatic… Byron smiled… but he must have been embarrassed… another tip if you are going to do it in front of your boys do it in a joking way… something amusing to your boys…so it’ll look like harmless fun… which is what I did next… some girl was walking past having a conversation with her friend, something about her shoe because she and her friend kept on looking at her shoes… “Your shoes are wicked” I said… looking at the red pointy shoes… which is one of those things many women think they look hot in but are just plain ol’ ugly shoes… according to a recent poll…. I then smiled after I said it… “Thank you…” She said... as she smiled… then I had a mischievous smile on my face… I was just having fun…. “What’s funny and why are they laughing…” She said looking at Mark, Michael and Byron…. Who were laughing… I was now thinking on my feet… “Err… that’s because they think I’m trying to get your number… err… which I wont mind if you were giving…” I smiled… she then smiled… “I’ve got a boyfriend… “She used that lame ass lyric again!!! “Thanks for the compliment though… “She said as she walked away… it was just fun… I loved doing stuff like that… come on the rave wasn’t all that… and I just thought I should have a bit more fun….
A quick tip… this “thang” works like a charm… have you noticed you not getting any calls of recent especially from the female population… err… pick up your phone and send the same generic text to every female in your phone book…. Seat back relax and get ready to receive the calls as they flood in…
NOTE: YOU MAY BE CAUGHT OUT IF YOU SEND THE SAME TEXT TO TWO FRIENDS WHO TALK… SO MAKE IT LESS “I’M MISSING YOU” KINDA THING… MAKE IT FRIENDLY AND GENERIC, JUST IN CASE YOU GOT CAUGHT OUT… AND DON’T DO IT EVERY OTHER WEEK, MORE LIKE ONCE EVERY 3-6 MONTHS… then even if you got caught out, the girls would probably have forgotten about it…..!
GET TEXTING!!!!!!!
I was still sitting when I recognised a figure in the dance hall that I’d seen before…the short hair… (for some reason… that’s the first thing I always recognise… the hair the face then the body….) it was Anne from like three weeks ago or something… at the party where I’d meet Amerie… she was dancing so gracefully on the dance hall with her girlfriends… I wasn’t exactly going to walk up to her, because if I got up I’d look the sofa I was cotching on and it wasn’t about standing at the club! She was like 10 metres away from me and I was hoping she’d look my way and I’ll call her over… but no it wasn’t happening…. I was pissed… I brought out my phone to give her a call… DUH! NO RECEPTION!!! The club probably had some lead walls!!! And to make it worse it was a basement dance hall… this was getting annoying… I felt like dashing my phone towards her… err… maybe that’s not a brilliant idea… after about 30mins (trust me it’s a long time if all you doing is just waiting for a girl to look your way… Anne went to the bar, so I took this as my cue… “Look what we’ve got here…” I said, creeping up behind her, running my hands down her bare shoulders and arms… “Your smile is killing me luv…” I said… as she smiled… “You are a joker… how are you?” She said as she gave me a hug… “I’m cool, you?” I hadn’t spoken to her since I rang her the last time when she asked me to ring her the next day… “I didn’t even know you’d recognise me” She said… “Hmm… I think you wearing the same earring and top, that’s how I recognised you” I joked… obviously she wasn’t (it’s not obvious but she wasn’t… anything to make her smile…) “You are dumb…” She said… (The playful, “you are dumb”)… I was just about to chat her up a bit when some geezer came up behind me… “Is there any problem here…” he said in some husky voice… I looked behind me to see who was talking… he wasn’t burly, but he built… he looked around 25, even though I was taller, I know he would take me on and probably beat the shit out of me… and it wasn’t like Byron, Mark or Michael were anywhere near and even if they were, they weren’t no thugs who were “strapping” a lil’ sum’um… “No… this is my friend Kelly, Kelly meet …” Anne said… I reckon I’ve got selective memory, because I really can’t remember his name… he knew he could take me on with the look in his eyes… and for him to even say that in the first place… maybe I was dressed too “sweet”… he then hand his arms round Anne’s waist, to show that that was his property… “Did I tell you your woman is so pretty…?” I said… trying to make the atmosphere lighter… “Err… it’s not what you think, he’s my friend” Anne said… friend??? So why is he getting all aggressive and possessive for… “Err… is that good news or bad news….?” I swear I was going to get punched up any time from now… “I’m just messing with you bro…” he said as he walked away… Okay that was strange… “Don’t mind him… he’s my ex…” Anne said she watched him walk into the crowds… “I ain’t watching your ex” I said… “I know you ain’t watching him, but I’m watching him….” She said… it’s like I had something stuck in my throat… “Is it?” was all I could manage to say… “So you still like him?” I don’t talk about other men, but I had nothing to say really… my throat was dry… “Yeap…” she said… still smiling… can she stop smiling because it made her look so nice… “You still got my number yeah?” I asked… “Sure” she said… okay what’s up with these one word answers… why is she being “one wordy”? “Give me a call, when Mr Lover starts to bore you” I said… as I walked backwards…. Giving her a quick wink and turning around… okay that was weird… what is all these crease in my game… she was meant to be all receptive… its cool though…
I joined Mark, Michael and Byron later on… some girl Byron had been speaking to was going home… and Mark grabbed her by the hand… and spoke to her for like a minute and next thing he was getting her number… even though I’d asked Byron to get her number previously, he said… I shouldn’t worry about him that he will take care of himself… (don’t ask me how)… but from when I saw Mark getting the number… it was pretty game over…. And don’t ask me why Byron did what he did next… he took out his phone and pointed it to the girl and said… “And this too…” implying she should put her number on his phone… “Let him give it to you” She said before walking away… it wasn’t helping Byron as well… if you wanna get a girl’s number… don’t get it in the presence of your boys…UNLESS YOU SURE YOUR GAME IS SO TIGHT THE GIRL WON’T TRY TO DISS YOU OR SAY NO…..!!! Michael was laughing his butt off!!! So was I and Mark was trying to say it’s not like that… obviously he wasn’t going to laugh… he was trying to be diplomatic… Byron smiled… but he must have been embarrassed… another tip if you are going to do it in front of your boys do it in a joking way… something amusing to your boys…so it’ll look like harmless fun… which is what I did next… some girl was walking past having a conversation with her friend, something about her shoe because she and her friend kept on looking at her shoes… “Your shoes are wicked” I said… looking at the red pointy shoes… which is one of those things many women think they look hot in but are just plain ol’ ugly shoes… according to a recent poll…. I then smiled after I said it… “Thank you…” She said... as she smiled… then I had a mischievous smile on my face… I was just having fun…. “What’s funny and why are they laughing…” She said looking at Mark, Michael and Byron…. Who were laughing… I was now thinking on my feet… “Err… that’s because they think I’m trying to get your number… err… which I wont mind if you were giving…” I smiled… she then smiled… “I’ve got a boyfriend… “She used that lame ass lyric again!!! “Thanks for the compliment though… “She said as she walked away… it was just fun… I loved doing stuff like that… come on the rave wasn’t all that… and I just thought I should have a bit more fun….
A quick tip… this “thang” works like a charm… have you noticed you not getting any calls of recent especially from the female population… err… pick up your phone and send the same generic text to every female in your phone book…. Seat back relax and get ready to receive the calls as they flood in…
NOTE: YOU MAY BE CAUGHT OUT IF YOU SEND THE SAME TEXT TO TWO FRIENDS WHO TALK… SO MAKE IT LESS “I’M MISSING YOU” KINDA THING… MAKE IT FRIENDLY AND GENERIC, JUST IN CASE YOU GOT CAUGHT OUT… AND DON’T DO IT EVERY OTHER WEEK, MORE LIKE ONCE EVERY 3-6 MONTHS… then even if you got caught out, the girls would probably have forgotten about it…..!
GET TEXTING!!!!!!!
posted by Olan Collardy at 12:01 pm
1 Comments:
ha ha Kelly, good what Anne did to you, maybe your game aint that hot after all!
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