Ramblings of a joyrider

"With great power comes great responsibility"
Here I sit listening to Jon B's "They dont know...". I have always
thought about being misunderstood often times... Words affliated
with the name Kelly isnt what any mother or father-in-law wants to
hear about a son-in-law... so where did things go wrong? I'm
starting to think am I misunderstood or I have misunderstood
myself? Who am I? ahhh.... that's where the problem lies... Here
are my apologies for being a gemini... I aint saying I'm two
faced... but would saying there are two sides to Kelly make things
clearer? Am I saying I've got a good and a bad side... because at
the end of the day... what do you define as good and what do you
define as bad? which is the real Kelly? The one that wakes up in
the morning or the one that goes to bed at night? Some say I mean
a lot to them while others think I'm a selfish, egostical
narcissist... is it a thing where I have over-inflated my actual
value... what's the difference between ego and pride. Some say ego
is an inflated feeling of pride in your superiority to others
while others say it's the consciousness of your own identity... To
be honest I could say my case is a bit of both... I'm
consciousness of my identity... it's perculiarity, it's uniqueness
and it's appeal which has lead to a notion of being superior to
others... Which came first though? The power or the ego... Was it
a thing where the power acquired led to the rise of the ego... or
through the discovery of one's self... led to a self-fulfilling
prophecy of being what you think you are. A saying says, if you
think you can achieve something then you will achieve it... did me
thinking I had the power give me the power? Okay I've spent the
past lines rambling on looking for an excuse of being in my
current state... at the end of the day... it all comes down to
responsibility... Use you "power" appropriately... as people get
hurt... and when some people get hurt... they become relentless in
bringing you down... I suppose there is something I need to learn
and practice... there are things you want to say or do that aren't
really worth doing and you know from the start it isnt... so why
do I go ahead and do it? For the thrill... what a dumb reason...
the thrill lasts for a while but the ramifications lasts a lot
longer... Do you necessarily have to take the ride even if you are
not interested? It's a thing where often times I feel bad telling
a girl I'm not really into her... but here I am screaming at
myself WHY NOT!!!!???? WOMEN DO THIS EVERYDAY TO MEN!!! WOMEN HAVE
DONE IT TO ME IN THE PAST!!!!

I never realised all this till I came in contact with her... I
wouldnt want her to think I'm all these things "they" say I am...
I never cared about what they said before... but now it's a thing
where I care because of her... I know what I am and what I'm not
... I'm not what people say I am... most of it is out of spite,
out of hurt, out of frustration, out of envy and jealousy... but
the truth is I havent managed my power with responsibility...
This post probably doesnt make the least sense... but whenever you
meet someone new that you seeing... never let her think she's the
only one if she isnt... "I'm talking to other people..." wouldnt
hurt anyone... because at the end of the day she wouldnt come back
to you and say you led her on... because you showed her the deal
from the start... this is where I have failed miserably... getting
caught in the whole "game"... I was never in it for the game...
but for the love of the game... The destination never mattered to
me... it wasnt my driving force... it was the journey that
mattered... How can I be a thief... if all I did was break into
your house, sat down and and then left... sorry for the broken
windows and the damaged hinges... At least you wouldnt be upset if
I told you I wanted to have a look around your house... because at
that point... you could either say yes or no... Looking back in retrospect, how could I have been so dumb to break into hearts without taking anything... I guess it was for the joy of knowing you can break into it... like a joyrider who knows he doesnt want the responsibilty of owning the car but just for the joy for taking it for a spin...

"Dont listen what people say, they dont know about you and me... put it out of your mind cause it's jealousy... they dont know about this here"