Jan 30, 2005
Today was quite a drag.
I went out with my bwoy Byron to Bar One in the evening. Bar one was packed as usual. Bumped into a few people I knew, no one fancy. Byron and I do this every other sunday to drink our problems away, talk about our lifes, work and most importantly, women. Byron's a decent bloke, just like I was, but I guess he's been decent at the momemt (so he claims anyway). He's got this model girlfriend (she's no Naomi Campbell or nothing, just small time modelling chic), she's pretty though. They've only been going out for a month now, and she's acting up, always busy, tempermental even though Byron claims she's "good at what she does". I confessed to Byron about cheating on Lisa (which I did officially last night), I could confide in Byron though, he wasn't no snitch. "You the one who got me into this mess you know" I said as I downed the Coke with Jack Daniels in my hand. "I should have known to stay away from her, she used me as bait to get her ex jealous"... "It was worth it at the end, wasn't it?" Byron laughed... "Right, wait till Lisa finds out... I think I'm starting to like Lisa you know" I dont know if it was me saying that or the drink because just last week I was contemplating on dumping her. "Is it? how come?" Byron asked "I dont know... she's pretty, very pretty!!! and I'll feel awkward if some other guy was with her... so I've come to a conclusion I like her, as in I wanna be with her"... Frankly I just wanted Lisa to be mine, no one else's, it wasnt because I couldn't wait to tell her of my undying love for her, I just wanted her to myself. "It's only two months you know...you've cheated on her and you are talking to other girls as well" Byron was right, I was flirty, too flirty, I couldn't help myself but to flirt, it was an art to me, and I just loved to make women feel special, because they deserve to feel special... women take too much shit from men, and it has become my sole duty to make it up to them... think of a superhero, flowing cape and a big K on the chest. "Face it Kelly, you are only with Lisa because you dont wanna be alone".... "That's where you are wrong... I want my space... Lisa has been talking of moving in with me... something bout her parents stressing her"... "Ha... you fucked basically" Byron chuckled... "I know... that's why I thinking... I like her, but then I want my space, how can I keep her without any commitments?" I asked rhetorically. Byron's face lit up.... that's so easy... why dont you set her up, push her into having an affair, bust her and leave her... she'll be forever sorry..." He said with his face screaming I'm a genius, I'm a genius... "That's if she liked me-like me in the first place"... "True... but what do you care, most of the girls you seeing nowadays arent wifey material anyway... so it shouldn't bother you... therefore it's a risk worth taking. Think about it you've got leverage... hedging your bets... if she cheats on you and leaves you, who cares, there are other women out there... if she stays... you've got her ass on lock down... cool ey?" Byron was really excited. "So how do we go about this?" I asked "I'll do it" Byron's face lit up "Fuck you man, about you'll do it" I should have seen where this was going.
Let me give you a brief history about Byron and I. I know Byron is done a thing with some girl while I was seeing her, but he doesn't know I know. It didnt really bother me because she wasnt anything special, he was my boy as well. The funny thing (sad, really) is I did the same to his ex-girlfriend a while back, which I know he knows about but he hasn't said anything. That's why its good to be a man. If it were women, they'll be at each other's throats right now, saying "I'll never talk to you anymore...." ....To me, it didnt really bother me.
You probably think that sounds bad, let me explain. This girl was originally Byron's "friend" whom he was working a lil' something with, but it wasn't falling through, so as a challenge, I stepped in and was seeing her for a while. I then told Byron she was getting clingy and wanted her to get off my back.... GUESS THAT WAS HE'S WAY OF HELPING. Byron's ex-girlfriend's case was a similar story... AFTERALL WE ARE TWO GOOD FRIENDS TRYING TO HELP EACH OTHER OUT IN OUR OWN DIFFERENT WAYS.
Don't be surprised though, most of our conversations go this way, we say something and never do anything about it, so I wont be surprised if after five months I was still with Lisa. Err...maybe not, as we were talking, this drop dead gorgeous black beauty walked into the bar (I've never seen her before, even though I knew pretty much everyone who was a regular at Bar One). Byron and I drooled as she walked gracefully to the bar, I forgot to mention, she had some butters friend next to her (as we all know....every buff girl has got a butters friend... can't be bothered to go into that right now)... For the next thirty minutes, Byron and I kept debating who's spoil this girl was going to be. "You can take the friend" We kept of talking over each other. "She's looking at me" Byron said galantly... (I wasnt surprised, Byron always assumes every girl is checking him out) "Okay, get up, go over there and say something then" I said. I knew he wasnt going to do shit. He got up and walk to the bar (Okay, maybe he was going to do something... ITS A MIRACLE)... I could hardly figure out what he was saying... It looked like he asked to buy her a drink and she said "No thank you", He looked like a defeated soldier... He came back and sat next to me... "She aint ready for me, try say no thanks... She's NICE BWOY!" he said, shaking his head with his eyes fixed on the heavenly creature just a few yards away. "Seen" I said as I got up "Watch how its done, bruv" I walked briskly to the bar and ordered a drink.
"Here's your drink" I tapped the "butters one" (she wasnt really butters... it was just in comparison...she was actually alright looking) "Sorry, Its not mine" She shot me a quick smile. "It's yours because I bought it for you love..." I smiled back. "Thanks, but I dont like Moet" She replied. "Maybe if we got to know each other better, I'd probably get it right the next time" She was all smiles now, but the "Buff One" wasnt too happy, she was baffled, she knew was was nice and she deserved all the attention, but I knew my game plan... "I'm Kelly, what's yours?" I reached out in a handshake "Marsha..." She reached for my hand. "And who's your girlfriend's?" "She's Amy" She looked at Amy... "Hi, Amy, you looking gorgeous tonight, what would you two like" NOW SHE'S SMILING (THE BUFF ONE) Tip: Guys, go for the butters one first, its so much easier. If you wanna break a wall, hit the soft part first!!! DUH!!! We got into a chit chat, I could see Byron in the dark, still perplexed. Marsha was Amy's cousin actually. Marsha was 23 and Amy was 21. Most of the conversation was between Marsha and I and I could feel Amy feeling left out (she was just as perplexed as Byron... how come I hitting on Marsha and not her?) Marsha had a quick run to the ladies, and it was now Amy and I, here was my opportunity, my game plan was working. "Do you come her often" She said.... (She was the one talking to me now... see... thats what you call GAME!) "Yeah...Its a nice place... you new here aren't you?"...."Yeah... just moved back to London recently, finished Uni at Birmingham"... "Here's my card, give me a call maybe I could show you round..." She smiled and took it, "A beauty products company...? you work for beauty products company?" "Errr...yeah... is it strange?" I asked... Marsha would be out any minute from now, at least she's got my card now. "No...it's not..." She smiled, (She reminded me so much as Gabrielle Union which her charming smile...) "Guess you need guys like me to keep women like you looking better each day".... "You are so funny...." I felt like saying '...ok... just make sure you call the number on the card' Marsha came back from the ladies... and we resumed conversation... leaving poor Byron still pondering on where he went wrong....
err...Byron... go for the butters friend first!!!!
I went out with my bwoy Byron to Bar One in the evening. Bar one was packed as usual. Bumped into a few people I knew, no one fancy. Byron and I do this every other sunday to drink our problems away, talk about our lifes, work and most importantly, women. Byron's a decent bloke, just like I was, but I guess he's been decent at the momemt (so he claims anyway). He's got this model girlfriend (she's no Naomi Campbell or nothing, just small time modelling chic), she's pretty though. They've only been going out for a month now, and she's acting up, always busy, tempermental even though Byron claims she's "good at what she does". I confessed to Byron about cheating on Lisa (which I did officially last night), I could confide in Byron though, he wasn't no snitch. "You the one who got me into this mess you know" I said as I downed the Coke with Jack Daniels in my hand. "I should have known to stay away from her, she used me as bait to get her ex jealous"... "It was worth it at the end, wasn't it?" Byron laughed... "Right, wait till Lisa finds out... I think I'm starting to like Lisa you know" I dont know if it was me saying that or the drink because just last week I was contemplating on dumping her. "Is it? how come?" Byron asked "I dont know... she's pretty, very pretty!!! and I'll feel awkward if some other guy was with her... so I've come to a conclusion I like her, as in I wanna be with her"... Frankly I just wanted Lisa to be mine, no one else's, it wasnt because I couldn't wait to tell her of my undying love for her, I just wanted her to myself. "It's only two months you know...you've cheated on her and you are talking to other girls as well" Byron was right, I was flirty, too flirty, I couldn't help myself but to flirt, it was an art to me, and I just loved to make women feel special, because they deserve to feel special... women take too much shit from men, and it has become my sole duty to make it up to them... think of a superhero, flowing cape and a big K on the chest. "Face it Kelly, you are only with Lisa because you dont wanna be alone".... "That's where you are wrong... I want my space... Lisa has been talking of moving in with me... something bout her parents stressing her"... "Ha... you fucked basically" Byron chuckled... "I know... that's why I thinking... I like her, but then I want my space, how can I keep her without any commitments?" I asked rhetorically. Byron's face lit up.... that's so easy... why dont you set her up, push her into having an affair, bust her and leave her... she'll be forever sorry..." He said with his face screaming I'm a genius, I'm a genius... "That's if she liked me-like me in the first place"... "True... but what do you care, most of the girls you seeing nowadays arent wifey material anyway... so it shouldn't bother you... therefore it's a risk worth taking. Think about it you've got leverage... hedging your bets... if she cheats on you and leaves you, who cares, there are other women out there... if she stays... you've got her ass on lock down... cool ey?" Byron was really excited. "So how do we go about this?" I asked "I'll do it" Byron's face lit up "Fuck you man, about you'll do it" I should have seen where this was going.
Let me give you a brief history about Byron and I. I know Byron is done a thing with some girl while I was seeing her, but he doesn't know I know. It didnt really bother me because she wasnt anything special, he was my boy as well. The funny thing (sad, really) is I did the same to his ex-girlfriend a while back, which I know he knows about but he hasn't said anything. That's why its good to be a man. If it were women, they'll be at each other's throats right now, saying "I'll never talk to you anymore...." ....To me, it didnt really bother me.
You probably think that sounds bad, let me explain. This girl was originally Byron's "friend" whom he was working a lil' something with, but it wasn't falling through, so as a challenge, I stepped in and was seeing her for a while. I then told Byron she was getting clingy and wanted her to get off my back.... GUESS THAT WAS HE'S WAY OF HELPING. Byron's ex-girlfriend's case was a similar story... AFTERALL WE ARE TWO GOOD FRIENDS TRYING TO HELP EACH OTHER OUT IN OUR OWN DIFFERENT WAYS.
Don't be surprised though, most of our conversations go this way, we say something and never do anything about it, so I wont be surprised if after five months I was still with Lisa. Err...maybe not, as we were talking, this drop dead gorgeous black beauty walked into the bar (I've never seen her before, even though I knew pretty much everyone who was a regular at Bar One). Byron and I drooled as she walked gracefully to the bar, I forgot to mention, she had some butters friend next to her (as we all know....every buff girl has got a butters friend... can't be bothered to go into that right now)... For the next thirty minutes, Byron and I kept debating who's spoil this girl was going to be. "You can take the friend" We kept of talking over each other. "She's looking at me" Byron said galantly... (I wasnt surprised, Byron always assumes every girl is checking him out) "Okay, get up, go over there and say something then" I said. I knew he wasnt going to do shit. He got up and walk to the bar (Okay, maybe he was going to do something... ITS A MIRACLE)... I could hardly figure out what he was saying... It looked like he asked to buy her a drink and she said "No thank you", He looked like a defeated soldier... He came back and sat next to me... "She aint ready for me, try say no thanks... She's NICE BWOY!" he said, shaking his head with his eyes fixed on the heavenly creature just a few yards away. "Seen" I said as I got up "Watch how its done, bruv" I walked briskly to the bar and ordered a drink.
"Here's your drink" I tapped the "butters one" (she wasnt really butters... it was just in comparison...she was actually alright looking) "Sorry, Its not mine" She shot me a quick smile. "It's yours because I bought it for you love..." I smiled back. "Thanks, but I dont like Moet" She replied. "Maybe if we got to know each other better, I'd probably get it right the next time" She was all smiles now, but the "Buff One" wasnt too happy, she was baffled, she knew was was nice and she deserved all the attention, but I knew my game plan... "I'm Kelly, what's yours?" I reached out in a handshake "Marsha..." She reached for my hand. "And who's your girlfriend's?" "She's Amy" She looked at Amy... "Hi, Amy, you looking gorgeous tonight, what would you two like" NOW SHE'S SMILING (THE BUFF ONE) Tip: Guys, go for the butters one first, its so much easier. If you wanna break a wall, hit the soft part first!!! DUH!!! We got into a chit chat, I could see Byron in the dark, still perplexed. Marsha was Amy's cousin actually. Marsha was 23 and Amy was 21. Most of the conversation was between Marsha and I and I could feel Amy feeling left out (she was just as perplexed as Byron... how come I hitting on Marsha and not her?) Marsha had a quick run to the ladies, and it was now Amy and I, here was my opportunity, my game plan was working. "Do you come her often" She said.... (She was the one talking to me now... see... thats what you call GAME!) "Yeah...Its a nice place... you new here aren't you?"...."Yeah... just moved back to London recently, finished Uni at Birmingham"... "Here's my card, give me a call maybe I could show you round..." She smiled and took it, "A beauty products company...? you work for beauty products company?" "Errr...yeah... is it strange?" I asked... Marsha would be out any minute from now, at least she's got my card now. "No...it's not..." She smiled, (She reminded me so much as Gabrielle Union which her charming smile...) "Guess you need guys like me to keep women like you looking better each day".... "You are so funny...." I felt like saying '...ok... just make sure you call the number on the card' Marsha came back from the ladies... and we resumed conversation... leaving poor Byron still pondering on where he went wrong....
err...Byron... go for the butters friend first!!!!
posted by Olan Collardy at 5:35 pm
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